Precious Pain

(Please listen to Sayo’s story by clicking the white play button at the top of this post. You can read the transcript of the story below.)

Okay, I’m Sayo, actually Sayanora. That’s my dad’s idea. He just had this idea of the world. He never went to the world, He would read alot. People shorted it for me in high school. At home, they call me Saya because it was a Saya Nora. So the Saya, that’s the four letters, first four letters. When I went to school in high school, they changed, I switched schools in the 10th. And then they changed it to S-A-Y-O, Sayo.

So you want God to use you? It comes with a price. And so when I, especially when I started reading about Ezekiel, and you know, just groveling in the dust and that caught my attention that it’s not, I don’t want to be in that position. But I want God to use me.

Because I see there is some, there’s like a thread running through all the prophets. And there is a kind of pain of some sort. So my pain, it started off, I started writing about physical pain. But then God started leading me through the crevices of my mind, to different kinds of pain. From childhood, right up to the physical pain, even just, losing my dad, when I was 13. And my mom had five kids, the youngest was six, and she just raised five kids without a husband. My older brother was just 15.

And so there was a lot of pain from childhood. And so God started taking in. It’s been like, it’s been a healing process for me too, not, not just for others, but by writing. It’s, it’s just been healing me from the inside.

It’s only recently, I would say, like, seven years ago, probably close to eight years, when the arthritis–I suddenly developed arthritis overnight. God started putting on my heart that this was something that He was allowing in my life. For a purpose, and I need to do something with it. And so I couldn’t figure out what He wanted me to do with it, because it really knocked me down. Literally, on the bed where I needed, my boys help to flip over, or Danny, somebody to come in, take me to the bathroom, or even to get my feet from the bed to the ground. Someone had to lift my feet and put it. It was quite bad.

But God started speaking to me very specifically about people, about situations, about different things. And, yes, so. And one of the important things that He asked me to do was to write down, like write down your stories, just write it down. “I’m putting you through this so you would experience me in a very close way. So that when people are going through hurt, when they are going through any kind of pain of any sort, that they would be able to know that I’m very close to them.” In the process, I am being transformed. That, of course, gave me so much excitement, and you know, purpose to do more. But then it’s about transforming me to recognize the need around me. And so there are a lot of stories like these, which I’ve seen God, just use me if I’m willing.

There’s some situations where you just cannot be healed, you have to learn to live with it. And that’s also part of God’s plan. And I totally accepted that right in the beginning. And I still believe that it’s up to God, if He wants to, because if He is going to be more glorified while you’re sick, and you’re honoring Him, and more people are coming to know Him because of your response to your illness, then, you know, you’d rather be sick. So that’s how I prayed, I said, if this is what You see in me that my response to my illness is bringing more people to trust You, then I’d rather be sick. But if my healing is going to bring more people to You, then whatever it is, so I kind of got that straight in my head with God. And especially with rheumatoid arthritis. The doctors just tell you, there’s no cure; you just live with it and learn to cope.

So I was willing to just go through that. But there was a time when God really spoke to me very clearly that “I will heal you completely in a week.” And I really don’t know what that week means. Even now, when I’m saying this, I really don’t know what that means. But I have written about this in the [my] book. During that particular week, when the arthritis was really, really, really bad. My knees were swollen, my fingers, I couldn’t straighten my fingers, both my hands were just bent, all my fingers were bent. And even to lift the sheet over myself, I just [had to] pick it up with the tips of my thumb and finger.

And it was so bad. And this is what God speaks to me. And I was so excited. And I know my boys… Also, I’ve seen them cry when they’ve seen me in pain. And Joel, our second, he said, I don’t know why you have to go through. Why isn’t God doing something about this? And my boys really went through a lot. And my youngest was, he was just seven when this started. And I just feel terrible that I couldn’t be there for him. And you know, just that emotional aspect of even just hugging your kids. And every time they came near me they were afraid that they might hurt me or step on something or bump into me accidentally. And so that was frustrating for me. But the thing is the way God started molding the boys through my illness, and helping them to trust Him, and pray so much more and get to do chores around the house. They literally took on the whole house–cleaning, cooking, mopping…. Name it and they did everything at home. And I mean, it was hard for me to just watch them, you know, doing it because someone had to do it. And I couldn’t. That particular week when I heard God say “I will heal you completely in a week.” And I mean, it wasn’t an audible voice or something. But I sometimes see like a sentence, you know, just typed out or something. It’s just a sentence there. I just see that and I woke up to this. And I decided to just fast 24 hours, let me do a 24 hour fast and see.

I mean, not that I wanted to be healed. And that’s why I was fasting. I wanted to hear God more clearly, during that time. And it was surprising that I didn’t get healed, in that week. But then after the fast, the next morning when I went to the kitchen, and I was still in a lot of pain, and God started speaking to me said, “Do you think you’ll be fine if you had the best health? Is that all you need?” And I thought to myself, that’s not all that I need right now, because our finances were not great. And then  the kids needed attention. There was so many things, so many things that they would need. Not and if I was healthy that was not it. There was so much more to it. And so I thought to myself, no, I don’t think I would want to see my children hurting in some way. And if my health was like 100%, good. So, and then immediately, thoughts started rushing into my head. I know they were from God. So I’m going to heal your finances. I’m going to heal your children’s hearts. I’m going to heal you. And a list of things started flowing through my head.

I sensed God speaking to me these things. And that week, the very next day, somebody just gave us a check of 50,000 rupees, which is a big deal in India. Nobody gives you 50,000 rupees just like that, and say, “this is for your family.” And that’s a lot of money in India it would take care of like, if it’s groceries, you can go for the year, but that’s not even like half a year over there.

So someone gave that. And then the the day after that. Our oldest was going through, the teenage questions and struggles and all of that. And he suddenly broke down. So we just sat with him. And he just cried, maybe for an hour, we just sat with him, prayed, and talked, and listened to him. And that seemed to be like a turning point for him, although he had a salvation experience much earlier. And he was baptized. But there was something he was going through at like 14-15 I think, and then that turned out to be like a big turning point for him.

It’s not easy when you’re serving God and you want to do what he wants. It’s not about me doing something for him, but what does he want to do with me, you know?

Precious Pain | Powerful Testimonies

And I could just connect all of this to that promise that God gave me just two days before that. And it was finances. And I started seeing things happen, although my health wasn’t restored, but again, the health part of it, I feel that I’m not able to write when I’m well.

That’s really funny but everyone thinks it’s weird, so I keep telling God, don’t let me go through pain to write. Give me ideas to write when I’m well. But then God’s always showing me that, Okay, now you’re well. Now try writing. And the thoughts just don’t come. It just doesn’t come because I’m not able to relive the experience of the pain and the experience of God’s presence in my pain, not able to relive that and put my thoughts down.

So the health issues have improved so much, but thoughts aren’t flowing. And then, God, do wherever you want, but I need to finish this chapter. And what He does is give me pain that night, and then in the morning and like, Okay, before the pain goes, let me just text quickly, or whatever thoughts. And the thoughts just keep flowing, because He starts showing me from Scripture connecting Scripture with my experience of pain and how He is so alive. And so present with me. Because I believe there are a lot of people who are going through terminal illness, and they need to know that God is so close to them, but who can explain or who can, you know, express to them other than someone who’s been through pain themselves. And so just the other day I was texting on my phone, I mean, I just put it all down there because I didn’t want to lose those thoughts that were just flowing in to complete the chapter. And so although I don’t want to be in pain for the rest of my life, I don’t enjoy pain. But I must say that God has been so real in my pain. And He’s had a purpose. He’s achieving something through that.

And I had to be willing. And I could have said I don’t care. But you know, I just want to be well. And it’s been a testimony in itself. So even my mom, she says, “I have seen so many people suffer, but they blame God and they’re angry and upset. But when I look at you, I just feel so strong. And I feel like other people need to meet you. And I, I just feel that there’s something about the way you’re handling your pain that others need to experience.” And so when I hear these things, I don’t want to be in that pain, but just want to make sure I make optimal use of that experience.

I’m just reminded of one time when I was in –it was again, one of those days when I couldn’t get out of bed, I was in a lot of pain. And I realized there was one question that I always felt like I wasn’t sure about was when we take communion, when we break bread. That phrase, “Do this in remembrance of Me.” Now Jesus was telling this to His disciples, who knew Him. And when He’s saying, “Do this in remembrance,” they have something tangible. They have Someone in front of them that they are going to remember in the future when He’s gone. But now, what does that mean to me? If someone says, “Do this in remembrance of Me”, I don’t have something tangible that I can relate to, it’s just passed down verses in Scripture. So I always felt like, I don’t think I’ve got enough out of this, like, I haven’t wrapped my head around this experience, because I’m trying to connect with someone else’s experience of remembrance. But what about me, you know, like, how do I relate to this? I remember that this was always in my head somewhere, that whenever I break bread, I would try my best to close my eyes and try to be as spiritual as possible to have that experience of remembering Christ, but it never came. But that time when I was in a lot of pain, one evening, everyone was out of the house, and I was alone. And suddenly, I sensed God telling me, “You want to know what that means?” You know, this is just a little glimpse of the pain that I went through.” And I actually experienced a little bit of what Jesus went through at that moment, when I couldn’t move my hands, I couldn’t get on the ground, couldn’t get my feet down.

I remember just weeping that day, I was just weeping and thanking God, I said, “I thank you for this pain, because now I understand a very little, such a miniscule amount, of what You went through for me.” And that made it so real. I don’t think I’ve asked that question again after that, because it wasn’t the whole– I know, Jesus went through so much. And I said, You didn’t deserve it, but I deserve it in so many ways, but You didn’t deserve that pain. But, I could just feel, I mean, not literally, but I could just sense the bruises and the blood, and the thorns on His head. Everything. Just for a few minutes. I just felt that. So real. And I said, this is what He went through for me. So thank you for reminding me of that section of my book. I’ve written about all of this.


Latest Stories

A Buddhist Hears From Jesus

Growing up Buddhist, Allison sought academic praise and worldly achievements, doing all the right things but never finding peace. In the midst of a suicide attempt, she hears the voice of Jesus [...]

A Friend of Jesus

He's carried a 12 foot wooden cross all over the world, has story after story that movies are made of, and only wants to be remembered as a friend of Jesus. He has given us an invitation to sit [...]

A Mother’s Wound

Anita offers a simple honest prayer to God after years of pain as she begins the process of hope and restoration from the mother wounds that she experienced in her childhood and now must face as [...]

A Really Big Yes

A few high school students say yes to God, and a culture shift happens at the school. Students are changed, revival breaks out and the Kingdom advances.

A Step of Faith is a Step of Faith

A single step of faith begins a journey that takes Danny and his family from India to the United States. Trusting God, even when everything seemed bleak.

A Vision Revealed. A Waitress Consoled.

He loves all of us like that! I thought about it I bet she's been crying out for years thinking her prayers aren't getting any higher than the ceiling because nothing's changing. Then some random [...]

An Answer to Anxiety

I did not want the Lord. All I was wanting was to get this anxiousness out of me. This was bad this was really bad anxiety. I was asking the Lord to help me. He came in and He gave me life. I was [...]

An Impossible Conception

She has battled cancer multiple times and through those challenges is told conception is impossible. But God...After 17 years of infertility, she becomes pregnant.

An Intimate Vision

Seeing God's word as an intimate love letter draws Craig into encounters with Jesus that change his vision of himself and a deeper relationship with God.

An Order to Prophecy

Knowing God is a God of order, Pierce prays for and receives immediate confirmation regarding a prophetic word. He shares it with the entire church. I am not what I would consider someone that is [...]

Awakening to God’s Love

God's reckless pursuit of Seth, despite his anger and drug use, comes to a head as his parents' deteriorating health leads Seth to his knees and an awakening to God's beautiful love.

Break Through

Addicted to drugs for over 23 years, God uses what should have been a fatal car accident to break through the noise in Todd's life and draw him near. "I don't really have an explanation. Every [...]

But I Am Innocent

Joe is convicted and sentenced to 6 months in a federal prison. Crying out to Him of his innocence Joe hears the Lord speak back, "so was I".

Co-Laboring In Love

A shared love for hair and Jesus finds two stylists co-laboring to bring the beauty and hope of the gospel to their downtown salon. The safest place is in His will. And, the revealed will of God [...]

Courageously Weird

Stepping out on a limb for God but not wanting to be seen as weird, Molly pushes through her own fears to be courageous in the Lord. These are the stories--- these are the ones that encourage me [...]

Daily Desperate Dependence

When life's challenges become too great, Joe discovers the only thing that will get him through is a daily desperate dependence on the Lord. I began connecting with the Holy Spirit, but I didn't [...]

Dance with Me

And so I just leaned my head forward. And for a moment, I felt like there was a chest that I was really putting my head on, and I just danced with Jesus and cried and experienced something with [...]

Defined by the Father

Trying to live up to his father's expectations, Colin was depressed, hopeless and lost. At a conference Colin encounters the living God, he is healed physically, spiritually and now his life is [...]

Don’t Give Up. Rise Up.

On a mission trip in Nigeria, Ayelen contracts Ebola. Upon returning to Argentina, she is hopitalized and left for dead. As she cries out to the Lord for help she hears the Lord say, "Don't give [...]

Dreams. A Glimpse of the Father’s Love.

I realized all those things that I dreamt about, that those were gifts that He gave me. Gifts. Just like a glimpse of His power for me and His love for me. That He loved me so much that even [...]

Facing Mental Affliction

Years of mental affliction was destroying Anthony and his family. He encounters Jesus through love and inner healing and is instantly healed.

Father to the Fatherless

There was this void in my life, right? This void of love, this void of acceptance, void of attention, void of affirmation, and I tried my hardest to find those things. I believe that those are [...]

Freedom Behind Bars 1/2

Sentenced to life in prison for a crime he didn't commit, Gene finds Jesus and true freedom behind bars as his pleas for mercy are denied by the courts. "Unshackle him, release him from his [...]

Freedom Behind Bars 2/2

After 34 years of serving the Lord behind bars, Gene is released. Looking back he shares some of the supernatural God moments in his life. He said, "Seriously, the Holy Spirit told me when we [...]

Give Jesus a Try

I had constant suicidal thoughts, like, on the regular, I always thought about wanting to kill myself, because I never thought I was ever good enough. And I always thought that, and I found all [...]

God Has the Final Say…Not Cancer

Doctors sent him home to die. Sure that God had the final say and not cancer Jeff maintained, prayed without ceasing and the cancer ravaging his body was healed.

God is After You

Joseph needed more than religious do's and don'ts to comfort his broken heart. A new friend told him "God is after you!", which led to him hearing from God and his healing.

God Speaks a Better Word

Two of her three boys are diagnosed with Fragile X Syndrome but God speaks a better word to Jeffie through the Holy Spirit prophetic words, and the Bible.

Going All In

"When I was born on May 4, 2012, I was already fighting for my life. Just like everyone here, God had a purpose for my life. After spending three weeks in the NICU at birth, I finally came home [...]


Born with severe sleep apnea, 21 month old Landon receives a tracheotomy and doctors say he will never talk. His parents pray for complete healing and receive a miracle with one word, Hallelujah. [...]

Healing in Unbelief 1/2

An ambassador for Christ, Lee finds himself faced with Camille's unbelief despite his certainty that God is going to supernaturally heal her. If I could teach anybody, anything, [it would be] the [...]

Hearing God’s Voice

A string of bad choices leave Baylee broken and homeless. Desperate for help, her hope is restored by the prayer of a stranger and hearing the voice of God.

Heart for the Homeless

Circumstances in her own life gives Karen a deep understanding and heart for the homeless that leads serving in South Dallas faithfully for over 23 years.

I Give You My Life

Fourteen years old and struggling with insecurity and feeling weak, Chethan plans his suicide. He cries out to God, "I give you my life" and is overwhelmed by the presence and power of the Lord. [...]

In Need of the Gospel

Through missional outreach, Jesse realizes we are all in need of the gospel. He is burdened with the weight of sharing and living for His Kingdom. There are people that are, that are confused, [...]

Inmates Pray. Cancer Healed.

The doctor walks in and he says, “Mr. Edson, I don't know how to explain this, but there is no cancer in this biopsy.” Immediately, I showed them a band that I wear around my wrist that says, [...]

Jesus Came in Like a Boss

After years of addiction and lies, Jamie says that "Jesus came in like a Boss" and delivered her from all of it. Her life has been redeemed and restored.

Just One

Despite the challenges of running a group home for troubled teens, Tiffany and her family discover it's all worth it if they can save just one from the system and introduce her to the love of Christ.

Keeping a Promise

Diagnosed with breast cancer at a young age in Mexico and ostracized from her family for her faith, Tethe keeps her promise to the Lord. In 1997 I had no hope to live. I didn't even know that God [...]

Knit Together

Ultrasounds revealed and confirmed, in utero, that Ashley's son August had polycystic kidney disease in both kidneys. After months of prayer, God knit together a miracle for family and doctors to [...]

Leaving Everything for Jesus

Searching for fulfillment and satisfaction in what the world offered left Lance broken and longing for something real. When he encountered the reality of the righteousness available in Christ [...]

Made Perfect

Left with two options, believe the doctors or believe the Lord, Krissia chooses the word of God, that He made her daughter perfect. Her faith in that promise changed everything.

Made to Worship

Learning to pray to the Lord through singing, Aiva became connected to God. It is in worship that she found His comfort, peace, nearness, and more in the midst of tragedy. I've walked up [...]

Moved with Compassion

A young boy is shot in the head and on life support. Moved with compassion Justin pushes past his fears and enters the NICU to lay hands and pray for him.

Not Ashamed

Her heart is for women caught in sex industry and life on the streets, but Nadia shares how Holy Spirit directed her to share the Father's heart for a pimp.

Power of Hope

Living in abundant hope, faith and power, Caroline refuses to let her diagnosis of infertility define her faith, her purpose, or the goodness of God.

Power of Prayer in the Storm of Addiction

Just over and over again, when I would get in a bad place, [I would say] “God who is my daughter? Who is my daughter?” And I would declare it; “She's a princess warrior. She is God's Angel. She [...]

Precious Pain

Paralyzed by the pain of arthritis, forced to rest and unable to care for her family Sayo hears clearly from the Lord. Her illness becomes precious. I sensed God telling me, "You know, this is [...]

Provision for the Journey

They sold everything and set out on a journey, not sure where the Lord would lead them. They've learned to trust Him every step of the way. To get rid of excess, and get rid of things that we [...]

Purposefully Homeless

Led by God on a purposefully homeless journey, Rachel leaves her job, home, and modern day comforts to find the one thing money can't buy. I wasn't raised this kind of understanding of faith. I'm [...]

Radical Love Extravagant Provision

God's radical love causes Kyna to leave drugs and alcohol behind as her daily provision becomes the extravagant love of the Lord. I want to walk in radical love and radical obedience and radical [...]

Reclaiming the Past

Unable to trust God after the loss of his sister, EJ looks for answers and is able to reclaim the past when he has multiple encounters with Jesus. I think fear will keep you from your destiny. [...]

Reconciling Race

A purposeful engagement and wedding become the catalyst to reconciling race through the union of marriage and the grace of God. My definition of racism is like a hatred of the other race. I think [...]

Resource Room of Heaven

Financial plans crumble, car totalled, Clint feels he is being punished by God. He has an encounter with Jesus and learns about the resource room of heaven.

Running With The Gospel

After multiple confirmations of his calling, God anoints Peter's feet to run with the gospel. When a father affirms a son, there's nothing more powerful.

Silencing the Inner Critic

Growing up Christian, David saw himself as a disappointment. God's audible voice silenced the inner critic that had tormented David most of his life.

Simple Prayer of Faith

Wade shares how a simple prayer of faith and following Jesus' example of laying hands on the sick has lead to supernatural healings and salvations. The ultimate goal is to follow Jesus. Sometimes [...]

Spiritual Roots

After years of unexplained medical issues, Renee hears that her symptoms have spiritual roots. At the end of her rope, she considers the supernatural. Renee's faith is challenged and deepened in [...]

Stop Rejecting Me

He spent his entire life rejecting God until kidney failure went from dialysis to a nearly fatal organ transplant, causing Chris to stop running from the only One who could save him.

The Father’s House

When things don't add up, God's miraculous provision provides further confirmation for missionaries to create a discipleship house for lost sons –The Father's House.

The Forgiveness of an Adulterer

A broken past leads to lies and adultery as the foundation of their marriage. Through God's incredible grace and forgiveness, hope is found and a marriage is restored.

The Forgiveness of an Adulterer

A broken past leads to lies and adultery as the foundation of their marriage. Through God's incredible grace and forgiveness, hope is found and a marriage is restored.

The Gift of Trust

Faced with infertility, Rod and his wife choose to trust God and His plans for them through the gift of adopting a child with Cerebral Palsy. God has supernaturally revealed himself through the [...]

The Height of Grace in the depths…

Abortion leaves many in the depths of despair, it is only through the heigths of the Father's love and grace that Brooke is able to forgive herself.

The Risk of Faith

Looking for opportunities to celebrate God, Daniel goes out expecting God to show up in a moment and his faith is increased with every risk he takes. For me, it's all about Jesus. It's all about [...]

The Story Behind The Unseen Story

His love surpasses knowledge; it's a peace that surpasses understanding. That means it's beyond, what God does, has to be beyond our intellect. If we can understand God, then we would be God.

The Story Behind TUS Q&A pt. 2

Brooke, Adam and with the help of their CEO (Chief Encouragement Officer) Meredith answer listeners' questions on their stories, ministry challenges, and what's next for The Unseen Story.

Through the Wilderness

A seasoned hiker loses his trail and is lost for seven days. Desperate for help and ready to give up, Josh hears a Voice that guides him through the wilderness, giving him peace in the midst of [...]

Two Words from a Stranger…

Jeremy prays for an opportunity to share God's love. He receives a word of knowledge for a stranger. Those two specific words change both men forever.

Unbelievable Expectations

Does that mean that I was saved? I lived like hell for 45 years after that. So does that mean that I was saved? I don't know. I got to the point where I was I was drinking, you know, five double [...]

Vehicle for the Gospel

Rapping and preaching the gospel all over the country turns out to be quite difficult when you don't have a vehicle. Moses prays and fasts for a month asking God for help. The Lord shows His [...]

Voice of God

The appearance of perfection was important for Craig as a Pastor's son, but when he hears the voice of God everything changes. I heard the voice of God in a way that I didn't know was possible. [...]

When All Seems Lost

On suicide watch all seems lost when JD loses nearly three quarters of a million dollars in three days. But faithful obedience pays off. I thought God was going to bless me. And here I am all of [...]

Whoa, God is Here!

John begins each day with expectancy of what the Holy Spirit will do. Lead by the Spirit, he gets to share in some incredible supernatural experiences with God and His children.

A Step of Faith is a Step of Faith | Supernatural TestimonyReconciling Race | Supernatural Testimony

Send this to a friend

Hi, this story is AMAZING! Please take a moment to listen: Precious Pain!