Tara
We Will See
Hello, I’m Tara, I grew up in a Christian home, back in Missouri, where I’m from. And my parents are incredible, incredible believers like some of the strongest faithful people that I have ever met still to this day. And so I grew up in a Bible-oriented home, super encouraging in my faith and listening to the Lord and seeking the Lord and seeking the truth every single day. I had a lot that encouraged me, from a young age to be able to take my walk with the Lord into my own hands. But I think, one of the monumental blocks, was actually whenever my health started declining when I was probably 8,9 or 10 somewhere in there.
I started having health problem after health problem. I walked for the next decade, basically, through all kinds of medical crises. And I learned so much along the way about who the Lord is, how he interacts with us, and what our relationship with God looks like on a day-to-day basis, in sickness, and in health. When I was 18, I was completely and instantaneously miraculously healed, no one could possibly get the credit for it except for the Lord. Because it was in a moment, and it was permanent. I’ve never been sick since and that was almost six years ago.
Whenever I was really little, my parents and I started noticing that I was just developing, a lot of symptoms, and we couldn’t pinpoint what the problem was. I’d go to this doctor, and that doctor would be like, “Oh, this is neurological.” And another doctor would be like, “No, I think this is cardiac.” And another doctor would be like, “I think it’s this.” and so I was just bouncing around between specialists for a long time.
The interesting thing was, like I had said earlier, I grew up in this incredible Christian home. So, my parents raised me in the word of the Lord and I knew the stories of Jesus, how God would heal people through his hands, and how they would be forever changed just after a moment of encounter, with the Lord. So I knew God could heal me. I just had never really seen anything like that. And I didn’t know like, Does God want to heal everybody, does he only want to heal some people, you know, all I knew was that he could, and if it was in his will that he would.
So I walked through that and developed one symptom after another. What would happen is, I would develop some condition, we’d find a diagnosis and then we’d be praying, like, God healed Tara. And then we would watch a miraculous healing, sometimes after months, sometimes after years. I’d be healthy for like a month. And then I would develop a completely unrelated, equally debilitating problem. And then I’d be sick with that, and we’d pray God, please heal Tara. And then we’d see the miracle, and God would come through and I’d be healed. And then a month later, I’d be completely, like completely debilitated again. And it was something new and unrelated. And I’m going to a different specialist now. And I’m finding different problems.
I walked through everything from, you can look at basically any system in my body and it’s kind of gone crashing and burning at some point. I went through having stomach problems, I went through having brain problems and there were problems in my blood and problems in my heart. They just touched on everything. So, for example, for about four years, I could not map out new memories in my brain. You know, you’d ask my little sister, how was your day today and she’d say, “Good, I went to school, and I learned, fill in the blank.” And you’d ask me and I wouldn’t have a memory of my day at school. You could hand me a kid’s book that would have three words on the page and a picture, and then take the book away after I’ve read it and ask me what I read. I would have no memory of having read that.
So my outlook for what I expected the future to become, you know, and what my parents expected for my future was so much different than, the normal kids. They’re dreaming of like, I’m gonna be a firefighter, someday, I’m going to be an astronaut, I’m going to be a teacher. And my outlook was just very, very different from that. I’d have moments where I couldn’t even remember my name at points and forget where I was at points. I’d forget who I was talking to, like, conversations just weren’t not normal with me.
I had another three-year period of time where I was having dozens of seizures every day, I had a seven-year period of time, where my pancreas was just malfunctioning and kind of sputtering to a stop. And so my blood sugar was constantly super highs and lows. I had a year and a half, where I didn’t have a voice hardly at all. Because I had so many other health problems my vocal cords were burned. I had a year where I couldn’t hardly hold any food down. I had, you know, just thing after thing after thing. But the Lord was faithful. And he came through and healed me every single time. And so I went through this cycle of sickness.
When I was 18, I had been healed. Doctors had cleared me, and they were like, there’s nothing wrong with you go ahead, like, do whatever you want. And I had felt called to be a missionary someday. It’s really in my heart to just go somewhere and share about the Lord and, so when I was 18, there was just this moment where it’s like, I’m healed, I’m healthy, I can go do anything. I wanted to go on a mission trips so much. And so I joined this team, through a ministry out of Texas, and we went over to Poland for a mission trip.
When I got over there, the next day, I had probably one of the biggest medical crises of my life. And we didn’t know what happened at this point, all we knew was that Tara passed out. And when she woke up, she was 80% paralyzed on the right side of her body. She couldn’t speak or understand anybody else. And, you know, and she couldn’t see, and all the stuff. And so everybody’s looking at me, like, what is going on? And I just remember realizing, like, everything, just fell apart again. And I just flew to the other side of the world yesterday.
They took me to a hospital and I bounced from hospital to hospital while I was in Poland. They’re passing me around trying to find somebody that has the resources to be able to deal with me. I’m seeing neurologists and basically discussing my death over Google Translate, because I don’t speak Polish. And even if I did, like, I wouldn’t have been able to communicate well, because I continued having these episodes repeatedly, three times a day, every few hours. I’m just having another one of these experiences where I’m waking up and it’s like, I had a stroke. I couldn’t fly back to the States because we didn’t know if I was stable enough to survive the transatlantic flight. But you know, the Lord provided people to come help advocate for me.
I met a lady over there who was a doctor from Mayo, and she was fluent in French, and Polish. And she was there advocating for me through some of these moments, and she would call my parents and give them updates. And we just didn’t know what to do, like, how do you make it through a situation like that, where you’re separated from, your own culture your own language and you’re going through a crisis, it’s difficult. But after a while of being transferred around through Polish hospitals, they kind of just told us, we don’t have the resources to deal with you in our country and so you need to go somewhere else.
We weren’t really sure that I was stable enough to fly, so I took an 8-hour ambulance ride across the border to Germany. And I just kind of had a medical transport day and they took me to a hospital over there. And I’m never gonna forget the moment when I checked into the hospital, when they were triaging me deciding, you know what floor to put me on. I had two medical transports that came with me from Poland, two people at the front desk, and me. And so there were five of us. The people at the front desk spoke Russian and German, my medical transport spoke French and Polish, and I spoke Spanish and English, but even those two languages, I couldn’t speak well at the moment. And so we had six languages. And none of us have the same as the other. And so even just trying to get me checked into another hospital was such a huge event. They ended up having to go and get a cardiologist, who they found could speak English, and he had to check me into the hospital. It was such an interesting experience.
Once I got through, all of that, and got checked into the hospital, we just kind of continued trying to stabilize me and get whatever needed to be diagnosed, diagnosed. My dad was able to come over for the last week that I was in Germany. I’m never going to forget that moment. Because that was when I watched my dad, like walk into the room and I heard his voice. I felt all the burden that I was carrying on my own just lift off of me. And that showed me what it’s like when we let God come into the room with us, and Father us and be the person that bears the burdens for us and the weight for us. Because when he got there, my stress, just disappeared. The world was okay. I had peace again, I have a dad who’s going to advocate for me, he’s going to fight for me through all this.
I think when you’re walking through things you have either the fear of the Lord or the fear of something or someone else. And I knew the Lord. I’d walked with him. And he’d been through so many things with me at this point that I wasn’t concerned about whether or not he was there. For me, I wasn’t concerned about whether or not he was still on the throne. I wasn’t concerned about whether or not he would still be able to do what I needed him to do. And I did have the question of like, why, like, why is this happening? You know, I was out here trying to, you know, spread the gospel to another nation and fulfill God’s calling on my life. And I asked why. And I remember feeling so convicted after that moment, where I was like, God, why is this happening to me? Is there a purpose in this?
During that time, Job was probably my biggest encouragement. Because Job was like me, in the sense that he had crisis after crisis as he was walking through his life and he had a good relationship with the Lord. But Joe asked the same question I asked, why, and God responded to him “Do you remember who I am? I’m the one I’m the only one who can lose the cords of Orion. I’m the only one…Where were you when I was creating all of the heavens in the earth?” And so what God did at that moment with Job when he asked God why, is God convicted him and said, “It’s for my glory.” Like, you have to remember who I am. And I think that’s the heart of worship, and the heart posture that we have to take in every single situation that we have in life.
After that summer, we got me stabilized enough to fly back to the States to figure out the rest in the American hospitals. But this was all a very public event, because like I said, it was all happening on the other side of the world, people are starting these little viral prayer chains online, you know, like, pray for Tara, which is incredible to see believers rally around each other like that. I know for a fact that I had thousands of people praying for me and supporting my family in, in the secret place with the Lord, which is incredible.
I will never know the fullness of what people invested, you know, in prayer into my family but I know what I felt. I felt surrounded by the presence of the Lord. And so I think that this time in my life was one where, your friends, carry you to the feet of Jesus, and ask for healing. One of those moments where your friends hold your arms up in worship and while the battles going on, you can keep your eyes on the Lord. That’s what it felt like. And so everybody knew about it, it was a very public situation.
Whenever I got back after a couple of months, probably a few months after I got back, my dad had gone to church. I wasn’t able to go to church at that time, because some things would trigger my episodes that I was having. Some of the lights at church would trigger it. So my dad would go to church, though, and he would come back and just tell me about, you know, what had happened. He told me that he had met this guy at church and really felt the Holy Spirit on it and that we were going to go to lunch with him. A couple of days later, we went to lunch with this guy.
At the end of the lunch, he said, Hey, I heard about what happened to you last summer. And I want to pray for you. Is it okay that I pray for you? He and my dad put their hands on my shoulders and they started praying for me. He prayed for me in a language that was I guess, from heaven. I hadn’t been prayed for by anybody in tongues before, this was all kind of a new experience for me. I didn’t know exactly the fullness of what was happening. But he started praying for me in this language that I shouldn’t be able to understand. And I understood it.
I was like, Oh, what is happening? Like, I’m going crazy. Like, everybody’s gonna think that I’m going crazy. If I tell anybody about this, I’m never going to tell anybody that he just prayed for me in a language that doesn’t exist. And I understood him. And so because I just hadn’t been prayed for like that. So I told myself, I’m never going to tell anybody about this experience. He was prophesying over me, “God is going to heal you and you’re gonna be able to share your testimony all over the world.
And then the last phrase, he said, at the end of this whole, like, prophetic word, he was giving in a heavenly language. The last phrase he said was, “For we are about to see.” I remember thinking it was cute because my sight was gone and he was prophesying that I was gonna be able to see again, like, that’s so sweet. But I didn’t say anything and he thanked me for letting him pray for me and told me he’s gonna keep praying for me and we say goodbye. He walks across the parking lot, gets in his car, and leaves the whole parking lot.
So my dad helped me in the car and he backed out the car so we could drive home I feel the Holy Spirit like clear as day leading me to tell my dad that I understood him. And I was like, No, this is gonna He’s gonna think I’m crazy. I had never heard of anything like this happening, you know? And so I was just like, he’s gonna think I’m crazy. Are you sure Lord? Like I’ll do it if you want me to, like, you have my Yes, but you’re gonna have to help. Because, you know, at this point, I’m struggling with communication.
And, you know, you could ask me what’s new, and I wouldn’t know what the word new means. But I have this relationship with God, that’s strong and we still talk and he understood me whether or not I had the words to pray to Him. And I understood him whether or not I had the ability to understand anyone around me. I had this, like, secret place moment going on with God all the time. So I knew the voice of the Holy Spirit and I knew God was asking me to do this. So I was like, Okay, I’m just gonna need your help. And I turned to my dad and I said, “Whenever that man was praying for me, did you understand what he said?” And it came out perfectly.
My dad just looked at me in shock and he started to laugh. And he’s like, “No, I did it. He was praying in a language called tongues. Tongues is like, a language from the angels and it’s what they speak in heaven. God, can help people pray in that language in moments where he knows what they need to pray, and they don’t know what they need to pray.” And I was like, “Okay.” He said, “Wait, that’s an interesting question. Did you understand what he said?” And I was like, “Yeah, I did.” My dad said, “You need to tell him what he said, like, that’s incredible!”
“God just did a miracle, by giving you the interpretation of this other language.” I was like, “Well if God wants me to tell him what I understood, he’s gonna have to send them back over here.” At that moment. This man who had prayed for me drives his car back into the parking lot, parks it again, walks back across to our car, and taps, tap, tap on my window. And I opened the door, and he said, “Young lady, the Holy Spirit told me you have something to tell me.” And I was like, “I do when you prayed for me in tongues, I understood what you said.” And that’s a miracle.
There were so many times when I didn’t even understand people around me speaking in my own language, you know? And he said, “Really, what did I say?” And I recounted to him, that the translation of his prayer over me. And then the last phrase that he had said, that will stick with me for the rest of my life was, “For we are about to see.” I took that versus, like, really sweet, and cute, because like, I was blind so much of the time, you know, at this point in my life, but in reality, he was saying, like, for we are about to see, you know, really the healing that was paid for, for us by Jesus. And so, for me to be able to communicate, exactly what the Holy Spirit was speaking to me in that moment, that was a miracle.
I think that was part of the part of the moment where it was all happening because I shouldn’t have been able to do that. You know, that didn’t make sense. You’re like, Wait, this doesn’t make sense. Like, what’s happening? How is this happening? Yeah, that’s what we were thinking. You know, it was part of that whole moment where God just had us in this little miracle bubble, it felt like, and there were just things happening that don’t make sense, and they shouldn’t be happening. And this guy is talking in a language that doesn’t exist. That’s a miracle. And now she’s interpreting and that’s a miracle. And now she’s talking about this interpretation and that’s a miracle. You know, and now like he’s coming back on a word from the Holy Spirit, just so the word of the Lord can be spoken and that’s a miracle. Now the word of the Lord is spoken and that’s a miracle.
And now, all the energy floods back into my body, and I can see again and I can speak again and I can understand again, and I can run and jump and walk, and I can dance and I can swim, and I can do anything and everything. And it was in like an instant, where I went from so often not being able to so much as go to the bathroom on my own or feed myself. There were the basic daily tasks that I had so much difficulty doing so much of the time, that it was like night and day, in an instant, I was completely healed. That was almost six years ago, and I have never been sick since. I truly believe this is a deliverance from the Lord. Because He delivered me from my cycle of sickness, which, who even knew that type of thing was possible? It’s not without the Lord but with the Lord…It’s not only possible, but it’s something that he has done. And I’m walking, talking, living, breathing hallelujah at this point.
