Mary Beth
God's Still in the HEaling Business
I am Mary Beth Allen, and I am a wife and mother of five children ages five to 12. I live here in Dallas and I grew up here. I was raised in a Christian home and attended a private Christian school for 13 years. It was evangelical and down the fairway, like James Dobson’s Focus on the Family. The message I received from that, not necessarily maybe what they were putting out, but I think what I received was, that if you do X, Y, and Z, God will bless you. I felt the message I internalized was that I had to strive and be good and perfect to receive the Lord’s love and blessing over my life. That He didn’t just love me because.
In high school, we were taught, incredibly rich theology, and most of our Bible teachers all came from the local seminary, or they had gone through it. Sometimes, you’re learning what they’re learning in seminary, so there is a huge blessing in that, in that you’re learning a lot. And you’re getting a deep, comprehensive understanding of the Scripture. The downside I now see is, the instructors were taught cessationism, meaning that the gifts of the spirit died with the early church. It kind of really killed a lot of hope that I had in this Jesus, I had been learning and I’ve been taught about my entire life. You’re told the miracle stories were taught all of these things. And then it’s like, but by the way, miracles don’t happen anymore. It felt kind of strange to hold both of those things in tandem.
And then I grew up, moved away for school, and moved back here with my husband after we got married and had our first son. We were going to church. By this point, I knew Jesus intimately and was following Him, but wasn’t really acquainted with the power of the Holy Spirit, beyond like to illuminate the scriptures, to convict, and change me over time, through sanctification. And by change, I meant to change me more into God’s likeness.
I remember sitting one Sunday and reading Matthew, and reading what Jesus is doing. And Him saying, if you have faith like this and follow me, you can move mountains. I remember thinking, Jesus I believe you didn’t mean this just for the apostles. You didn’t mean this just for those around you at the time. I wanted that, I was really desperate for something different.
I remember sitting one Sunday reading Matthew and what Jesus is doing and Him saying, "If you have faith like this and follow me, you can move mountains." I remember thinking, Jesus I believe you didn't mean this just for the apostles. I wanted that, I was really desperate for something different.
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Throughout this process, the Lord started to show me very beautiful, amazing things in miracles and healings. I had had back pain and back problems for over 17 years. And He healed me, he fully healed my back. The most healing thing to me in that moment was actually I was in a room of like, 300 people. And the folks up front, they were like, “Hey, we’ve had some words of knowledge.” And I’m thinking, what does that mean? And they’re like, “We just wanted to pray for people for healing. And we’re going to list these things.” And so he lists the things that they got words about.
One of the things they called out was, “If you’ve had chronic pain for 17 years, we want to pray for you.” So I stand up, and I get prayed for and as I said, like the Lord healed me, like fully. I was pregnant at the time and when I was pregnant, the back pain was excruciating. And it left at that moment. When they were praying up front, we were all standing because everybody in the room was standing up front who was getting prayed for and everybody else was crowded around them. And the main guy praying said, “One of you I just see Jesus smiling down on you. He loves you so much.” And I remember thinking, let it be me, Jesus, Are you smiling on me? Please be smiling on me.
We go through the whole thing. They finished praying and they’re like, “Okay, raise your hand and If you’ve been healed or if you’ve seen any difference, you know, would you please raise your hand? Would you stand up, we would love to hear your story.” And so I very trepidatiously raise my hand. It’s barely above my shoulder. And they’re like, “Oh, Mary Beth, we’d love to hear your story.” And I was like, Darn it.
So I stand up and I share, “I had back pain for 17 years. I tore ligaments and then I slipped discs.” And it’s kind of the whole, it just kind of always gets worse and worse when you have back stuff. And then the man up front says, “It was you. I saw Jesus smiling on you!” And I just started weeping. I’m so grateful.
The thing that was so powerful was that I was the youngest of three children and I have 2 older brothers. I always felt like I was trying to keep up and I was trying to, like, be seen. I felt like if I didn’t go the extra mile, I wouldn’t get attention. I don’t think that’s actually true. But as the youngest child, I think it’s just part of it. Long story short, this moment, though, the thing that healed me was the Lord saying, “I see you, and you matter.”
And so, by this time last year, I was in a relationship with a God who heals and restores and does miracles. And I had seen him heal others and prayed for others and seen the Lord heal them. I’m going to back up a little bit. When I was in Virginia with my husband, he was in law school, we had a very dear friend who was a survivor of breast cancer. Since that time, I’ve kind of always known to do a monthly exam on myself, and just to kind of take stock of what’s going on.
Last summer, I was doing my monthly exam. And I was like, Wait a second, something feels different. And I felt a lump. And I called and scheduled an appointment. The first one available is two months out. And Then I had something else come up during that time, that was totally unrelated. And so I’m in this appointment thinking that we’re talking about that thing. And my doctor walks in and says, “Okay, Marybeth, you said, you have a lump.” And I was like, “I didn’t say I have a lump.” I had totally forgotten about it. And I was like, “I didn’t have one.” And he said, “Well, I’m going to check you anyways.”
He performs the exam and says, “Hey, I feel a lump, I need you to go get this checked out.” So I think at this point, I’m not feeling scared. I’m just kind of like, that’s weird. And trying not to overthink it, trying to just keep it in the present moment. All I know is that I’m getting something checked out, I don’t need to worry about 17 steps ahead. I don’t need to plan my funeral. Then a week went by and the thing that was hard for me in this process, though, is like, you schedule an appointment, and you have to wait a week, and then you schedule another appointment and then you have to wait. There’s a lot of waiting.
So I went in for the appointment and I called Hunter, my husband, right before, and he prayed for me and he’s like, “Yeah, let me know if there’s anything there.” And we’re thinking like, this is just a normal, normal, you know, there’s not gonna be anything. They do the mammogram. And the lady is like, “Hey, I’m not getting a good read on you.” And I’m like, Cool. She’s like, “So we’re gonna go do a sonogram.” So I go back, we go to the sonogram machine.
With so many children, you don’t really feel exposed anymore, but you’re also kind of like, I’m okay, we’re having a normal conversation. And then all of a sudden, she just goes blank and just kind of stares at the screen. And you’re like, we were having a conversation about fishing and now she just abruptly stops and is like, “Hey, I’m gonna go get the doctor. I think I’m not reading this correctly.”
At that point, the radiologist comes in. And he was like, “I’m not quite sure what we’re seeing. But I need you to know, it doesn’t look good. And I can’t definitively say what I’m seeing, but if I had to guess we’re looking at early stages like stage 0 or stage 1.” And I’m like, “Cancer?” Because like, he’s not saying cancer, he’s not. And he’s being very careful to not speak that. But He says “You need to know what we’re actually seeing. If it were really a true tumor, like stage 2, 3, or 4, I would be able to tell right away, and you would know, but I want you to know that you are looking at potential early stages.”
He was really sweet. He was like, “I’m so sorry. I know you have five children and I know, this is a lot to hear. You’re in otherwise really great health and so it doesn’t seem to connect.” And I think I’m sitting there just being like, oh, my gosh, you just feel this weight. Sit on you and the reality is you’re like, really thinking that this is not me. This is not happening to me. My doctor called me the next day. And he’s like, “Look, I’m so sorry. Let’s get you an MRI. It’s like the gold standard. If you have something going on, it will light up.”
At this point, we haven’t told our children, right? Because you’re like, What am I going to tell my kids? We think Mommy might possibly have cancer. So there was this odd dance of asking the Lord, “Who do we invite in?” We just kind of prayed about it and then we were at dinner with our priest from, All Saints, Mike. He works with us in the prayer ministry class that we get to be part of, and he was just asking, “How are you guys doing it?” We had found out the day before, and we’d had this dinner scheduled for like two weeks prior.
So Mike comes over and we’re talking and you know, the kids are in bed. “What’s going on with you guys? How can I pray for y’all?” And we were like, “We’re so glad you asked. We need to tell you what’s going on.” And he was so gentle, and so kind and was like, “I’m so grateful to pray for you on this. And I’m happy to keep this in confidence.” And so he just prayed for me and for Hunter and for our children. And he told me he’s like, I’m gonna pray for you every day until we hear anything different. And so he prayed over me right then and there.
Then we did the MRI, and that was on a Friday, so you have to wait the weekend. And they were like, “The radiologist is gonna read this today. Unfortunately, you can’t get your results until Monday because of the way it all goes into the system, but you will get it Monday.” So Monday rolls around, and I’m sitting in my therapist’s office, and we’re talking about it. And she had been so great, more of a friend and not like a counselor, and was just kind of talking me through things. And my doctor calls. And he was like, “Hey, how you doing? And I said, “I don’t know, how am I supposed to be doing right now?” And he was like, “Okay, I’m really sorry. It looks like you have lymphoma, and you’ve got a lot of the markers for it. So we’re gonna run some blood tests, we are gonna get a full, biopsy on this and figure everything out but we need to get you in like, ASAP.”
The diagnosis explained my weight loss it explained why I was so fatigued, why I’ve been having low-grade fevers, I mean, all the things. I had all the markers, except for the bloodwork because we hadn’t done any yet. And our friend Mike, our priest, who was praying for us was pretty funny. At one point, he’s like, “I’m just praying that there’s nothing there. It’s gonna be free. It’s gonna be fully clear, you’re gonna go in and they’re gonna find nothing”. And I was like, “Mike, that’s really funny. But no.” I like totally shut them down. And I was like, “I really appreciate that. That’s really nice if you want to pray that but no”. He was like, “Well, I’m still gonna pray that for you and I believe the Lord wants to heal you and I’m not going to give up.”
And so I’m in my house. The kids are at school that day. And as I crossed the threshold into our living room. It felt like someone had taken a cloak off of my body. There’s no one in the house, it’s me and my dogs and the Holy Spirit. Out loud I said, “I think I am healed! I’m well.” It was I kid you not, honestly, when I stepped across the threshold, I felt something pull off of my body. I felt this weight just removed. I have my arms like paused and I’m like staring out. I’m like, “Oh my gosh.” I think it’s the day before my biopsy. And I’m like, “Is this real?”
I go back because I set my phone down in the other room and I heard it buzz. I went back to get my phone and I looked down and Mike had sent me a message: “Mary Beth, I was just praying for you and want you to know, I just prayed and I really think the Lord has taken this away, He’s gonna take it away.” And I’m like, “He did take it away. Oh, my gosh.” And I also was thinking, do I say something now I don’t know, what do I say? You’re kind of going back and forth in your head do I respond? And so I just said, “Thank you so much. I think he’s gonna take it away too.” I think I couldn’t even say it.
Come to find out. My mom was also praying for me in that moment. And she had said, “I just felt for the first time, I just felt a total peace about the Lord, and where you were going to be.”
I go into the appointment the next day, I go back, I put on my little gown and they’re like, Okay, we’re gonna be in here. And then we’re gonna do an ultrasound before, just to make sure everything’s exactly where it is. So that we can match the scans, and do the biopsy based on that and confirm everything. I was like, “Okay, great.” So the tech is in there performing the ultrasound. And she’s like, “I don’t see anything. This is really weird. This isn’t matching up to your images.” And I’m like, “Go on. Tell me more.”
She says, “It’s like not, I can’t see, let me go to the other side.” Both the right and left sides were impacted and they were going to do biopsies on both sides. And she’s like, “I’m gonna go to the other side.” There’s nothing. She is straining to find something. Like, ramming it in like, “Come on we gotta find something.”
It was really fun. You’re thinking, okay, there’s clearly nothing there. But there might be something there now after you’ve shoved that in. So they leave the room and then income four people. I’m sitting on this little makeshift bed. They’re like, “Hey, I’m, we’re here to tell you that we can’t find anything. And so we’re not going to perform a biopsy today.”
My jaw dropped. And I’m like, “What? Surely not, didn’t you see those images? They said, “All we can say is that you must have had bad imaging. There is no, it just fully does not match what we’re seeing today on this screen. There’s no resemblance to the images that we have.”
They said, “Maybe they zoomed in on a blood vessel or something?” You know, it was this funny thing where they’re trying to like, explain the differences, like, Oh, that was bad imaging, and was thinking, You guys are the ones who did the imaging.
So I was free to leave. And so I left and I walked out. And I see Hunter, and he’s like, “Wait, why? Why are you back?” And I was like, “There was nothing. They couldn’t perform a biopsy. There was nothing there.” And he’s like, “Oh, my gosh, this is so great.” And I just started crying. And I just like, sat in his lap in the middle of this big room with all these people and I just bawled and he goes, “Why are you crying?” I was like, “I think it’s relief that it’s gone. The nightmare is over.”
I’m so grateful. But it was so crazy. And it was this moment where it’s like, I would love to just jump. But I felt, I think, every emotion that I had been holding back and repressing and I could just let it go. It was truly miraculous. And so I sit here today, and it’s totally clear. Nothing’s come back. My doctor was like, “Okay, well, I guess that’s that.” I’m like, “I guess that’s that, then there’s nothing there.” He said, “Well I’ll see in a year to see it, your annual.” And that’s it.
I’m really grateful. I really have felt so much better. And I really did feel so much, much better that day when I walked into my living room. I called my mom and I told her and she was like, “I was praying for you yesterday, at two o’clock.” And I was like, “Mom, at two o’clock, I walked into my living room, and I knew I was better.” It was just this beautiful thing for all of us. You know, my friend Mike was praying. My mother’s praying. I know other people were praying, but the synchronicity of it all happened at the exact same time. My mom was like, “I really prayed. I really felt the Lord say, “I’ve got it, that’s gonna be okay.”
I am so thankful that the Lord came in and healed me and restored my body. But also, it’s so much more than we could ever fathom and there is more stuff in there. As an example, I have a good friend who struggled with a heart problem. She had gone on a mission trip and came back. As she returned, she had a heart attack. She was in on this process and knew our story and knew that the Lord had healed me.
She had people praying, and she asked me to pray for her when this happened. She had to meet with heart doctors. She said, “She woke up one night, and she felt better and she felt the Lord had healed her.” She told me, “Had I not known your story, I wouldn’t have thought it was possible.” And I was like, “Wait, really? Really?” And she’s like, “God is still in the healing business. Not only did he do it for you, but he did it for me.” It was really sweet to see that He really does, He wants to heal us.
