Joseph
God Is After You
(Please listen to Joseph’s story by clicking the white play button at the top of this post. You can read the transcript of the story below.)
My name is Joseph and I used to be a Buddhist, actually. A practicing Buddhist for about 19-20 years, very devout. But when I was 15 years old, I came home from school one day and my dad’s closet was emptied out and he kind of left the house. I didn’t know where he was, or if he would even come back. Later on, I found out that he had cheated on my mom and ran off because of shame. So when I was 15, I started going to 21 and above clubs; getting in with fake IDs, and just binge drinking. Then when I was 17, I went backpacking around Europe and I came back a huge pothead. Marijuana just led to other drugs. But it wasn’t till I was 19 years old, and got in a relationship with a girl. I fell in love with her. She fell in love with me. It was our first love. And we were even talking about marriage. One day, she came to me and said, “Hey, I feel like God told me to break up with you.” I was like, “What?” She said, “God told me to break up with you.” First of all, God wasn’t even in the picture. That wasn’t even a thing beforehand. But the day she broke up with me, God started coming after me. God started coming after me. It was wild.
I didn’t really have a place to stay at the time. And a friend of a friend’s boyfriend invited me at three in the morning, and I was on his couch. He was the first person that shared the gospel with me. It was the first person that shared why Jesus died for me. It was the first person that shared why God loved me. He was the first person that shared a clear presentation of the Good News in a way that I was able to respond to it. He told me that the creator of the world can be my best friend and that it was about a relationship. I was like, Wow, okay. That’s intense. Really? And as I was listening for the first time, never really heard this stuff before, I remember making a conscious decision… Nah, I don’t want that.
I left this house the next morning. I went to Houston actually, to spend some time with my friends, longboarding. So we’re smoking a joint in a parking garage. I passed to one of my best friends who was the biggest pothead out of all of us. He was just–it was his state of mind. He wouldn’t go take a test in class without being high. So we get to my friend, pass it to him, and he goes, “Nah, man. I don’t smoke anymore.” Like what? Come on, dude. He goes, “Nah, Nah, man. I don’t smoke anymore.” I was like, “What are you talking about?” So all my friends are dogging him like, blah, blah, blah, blah, bah. “What do you mean you don’t smoke anymore?” He’s like, “I’m a Christian now.” What??? You’re a Christian? Everyone’s making fun of him like, Oh, you’re a goody two shoes now…whatever.
For me, I had remembered the conversation I just had with the guy the night before. He looked me straight in the eye, before I left this house saying, “God is after you. God is after you. And you know how I know that? It’s because before you came to my house I was praying, “God, would You show me someone You want to get to know today?” And you’re the only one that showed up. You’re the only one I met!” And I’m like, “Yeah, sure enough.” You know, I–I showed up at his front steps. He told me God was after me. And I was freaking out. I didn’t know what that meant. I kept looking behind my shoulder like, What? What? God is after me? And here I am in this parking garage, thinking, Oh, no. God’s got my best friend. Oh crap, I’m next.
A week later from this experience. I was watching a TV screen and beautiful mountains and valleys and rivers–just bird’s eye view and I loved it. I didn’t know what it was. I was high, but then all of the sudden a blue screen comes on and in white letters it says something like, “God loves you.” It stays there for a few seconds and flashes off like nothing happened. It goes back to this beautiful rivers and mountains and valleys. I’m like man, What? Looking around….”Anybody see that?” I actually took it offensively like, “What do you mean God? How dare You tell me You love me?” And then I realized I was arguing with this fake god of mine that is after me, that I didn’t believe in. Then all of the sudden fear struck my heart. Oh my gosh, what if there is a God that’s after me and He loves me? And I start freaking out–How did You find me?
It wasn’t until four months later, after my encounter with this man who shared Jesus with me…I had fallen into a deep depression and ended up contemplating suicide. I remember being in my dorm room at three in the afternoon, ready to end things. I had nothing else to lose. But then I remembered this person telling me about Jesus, four months prior. And he would ask, “Have you ever prayed about it? Have you ever prayed? Have you ever prayed?” And I’m like, “Prayer? I don’t know what prayer is. What are you talking about?” And he’s like, “Yeah, prayer. It’s just talking to God. Sharing from what’s in your heart. Not only will He listen, but He will speak back to you.” And I said, “Here, here goes nothing!” I threw the covers above my head. I didn’t know how to pray. I closed my eyes, clenched my fist real tight and just said, “Hi God, my name is Joseph. How are you doing today?”
I didn’t hear anything immediately. I didn’t. But then all sudden, I remember he said, “Keep pressing in. Share the things in your heart. He already knows, but just tell Him.” So I just started talking and pressing in and all the sudden, I felt a voice…My own thoughts are going one way. Then I heard another voice going another way, that wasn’t my own. I ended up having an hour long conversation with God. He spoke so closely and personal to me about my mom and my dad. Spoke personally about the girl I was in a relationship with who I was so heartbroken over and still loved. All I knew was that I reached out to Jesus and He spoke back to me. I wasn’t looking for a way to get out of hell or into heaven. I was just looking for the truth, looking for what’s real.
I’ve talked to Buddha many times and other gods many times. I’ve never heard them speak back to me. But the first time I ever talked to Jesus, I heard a voice that wasn’t my own. And Jesus spoke back to me. I said, “Okay, well, Jesus, You must be real.” No one prayed a prayer for me. I just believed in my heart in that moment and said, “Okay, God, my life’s not my own. I’m gonna follow You. I want to learn what that even looks like.” And from that day, I’ve decided to follow Jesus. There’s no turning back.
There’s no turning back.
When I heard a voice that wasn’t my own, and I felt the presence of God–I didn’t have language for that, but it was a presence that was in the room with me and I heard Him speak back to me. I remember feeling so much peace and joy over my life. I threw the covers off of me and jumped out and screamed at the top of my lungs saying, “God is real!!! God, You’re real!”
It was crazy. Oh my gosh, He’s real. It’s all real. It’s all real.
Generally speaking what Buddhists believe is less of a religion but it’s more of a way of life. They believe in the ideology of reincarnation, of karma, of, ‘Hey, if I do good things I earn merit, and these good things can get me into, kind of, a better state of mind. I’ll be able to have more blessings in my life. But if I do bad things, these things will come around and get me.’ But we’re in a world of suffering and they’re trying to escape this world of suffering.
So, the Buddha means the enlightened one. And Buddha was a man who taught other people on how to escape suffering and become also enlightened, so they can escape suffering. So the basis of Buddhism is ‘you can escape suffering, in your practice and meditation, and in doing these things can help you escape suffering so you could be enlightened. So we can all become Buddhists, and maybe even go to paradise.’ However, according to what I knew in Buddhism and what I practiced, it wasn’t working. And I couldn’t, no matter how much I chanted Buddha’s name or recited the sutras, or meditated for hours…I wasn’t able to find healing or closure in any of the sufferings with my mom and dad and the heartache and break that I was going through. Which is tremendous for those who’ve gone through it, regardless of if it’s divorce, if it’s just betrayal, whatever it is; heartache is so painful in so many different ways. But it is God’s love and power that He pursues us to bring us out of that and comforts us in those moments. I didn’t realize that. It had to be God to heal me and to see clearly. It had to be Him.
I reached out to Jesus and He spoke back to me. I wasn’t looking for a way to get out of hell or into heaven. I was just looking for the truth, looking for what’s real.
With the tools I was given as a Buddhist, all I knew was to do this, to do that, to do that, to do this. It was just a list of to-do’s, but they weren’t working. So I got tired of self medicating with these Buddhist things. I got tired of self medicating with the worldly things. And I just laid it all down and He pursues–chases after us. He chases us down. He’s relentless. His love is relentless. He cannot help but to have all of us because He created us and He knew us from the beginning. He’s so so so loves us as a Father and wants to be one with us that He will do anything, anything to get to us, no matter how many times we reject Him.
I mean, I think back to my Buddhist days, where I rejected Him so many times. And there’s a glimpse of His presence. There’s glimpses of His messengers loving me and sharing with me…I, it was God, but I rejected Him. But it was His kindness that He kept pursuing after me, year after year, after year, moments, after moments. In ways that only He knew that could get to my hard heart. It is His grace and His doing that He changed my life. I’m not my own.
To the listeners…For those who don’t know, Jesus, I just want to say, “God can actually speak back to you! Talk to Him today. Not only will He listen, He will speak back. It’ll sound like a voice that isn’t your own and you might even think it sounds like your own thoughts, but just try it because it’s worth it. And sometimes you’ll feel a peace that you’ve never felt before. Maybe it’s a different way that you’re gonna experience Him, in a way I’m not even describing because He’s God and we can’t put Him in a box.” And then to the believers, those who are Jesus followers that I’m speaking to right now like, Oh my gosh! Paul said, “I want to become like Him in death.” We like the first part. We want to know the power of His resurrection, to know Christ, Yes and Amen. But to get to the power, the old to new, we must learn how to participate in sufferings and to become like Him in death, because we’re not our own anymore and so that somehow attaining to the resurrection of the body. Like, that’s all it’s about. Our lives are not our own. And if like, what else will we be living for?
Paul walked around and he said God did extraordinary miracles through him in the book of Acts. Specifically, touching aprons and handkerchiefs and people were getting healed and demons were fleeing and evil spirits were leaving. So we got together, as some friends in this house, we had faith. Some girl had brain cancer for over six months. To the point where the tumor was getting so big, it was causing brain damage, and she was slurring her words she couldn’t speak, she was vomiting. Faith increased in the room. We grabbed a random article of clothing that we could find, a headband. We laid hands on the headband and prayed for her, gave her the headband; she wore it for that week.
She went into the doctor appointment the next weekend and she got a CT scan. In the CT scan, the doctor is freaking out and said, “Stop the scan! Pull her out! We can’t legally operate on her because there’s no sign of brain tumor or cancer at all in her head!!” God healed her through these extraordinary miracles! That’s the God that we serve! But get this, the brain damage that had happened was completely repaired. Her slurring had stopped in the middle of the week. This is a doctor verified miracle. We can’t make this stuff up. And this is why I serve and believe in the God that we believe in.
There’s no one like Him. He is worth everything. And because of that, I’m a dead man. My life’s not my own. Neither should yours, because He’s worthy. It’s from that place that He can start showing Himself off through us to the rest of the world.
I found purpose in life through God’s voice.
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A young boy is shot in the head and on life support. Moved with compassion Justin pushes past his fears and enters the NICU to lay hands and pray for him.
God is After You
Joseph needed more than religious do's and don'ts to comfort his broken heart. A new friend told him "God is after you!", which led to him hearing from God and his healing.
Prompted by Holy Spirit
Kyle is prompted by the Holy Spirit to "bless the feet". Later that morning, his feet are blessed so that all ministry expenses can be paid in full. He also details an encounter of [...]
Don’t Give Up. Rise Up.
On a mission trip in Nigeria, Ayelen contracts Ebola. Upon returning to Argentina, she is hopitalized and left for dead. As she cries out to the Lord for help she hears the Lord [...]
Vehicle for the Gospel
Rapping and preaching the gospel all over the country turns out to be quite difficult when you don't have a vehicle. Moses prays and fasts for a month asking God for help. The Lord [...]
Awakening to God’s Love
God's reckless pursuit of Seth, despite his anger and drug use, comes to a head as his parents' deteriorating health leads Seth to his knees and an awakening to God's beautiful love.
Defined by the Father
Trying to live up to his father's expectations, Colin was depressed, hopeless and lost. At a conference Colin encounters the living God, he is healed physically, spiritually and [...]
Leaving Everything for Jesus
Searching for fulfillment and satisfaction in what the world offered left Lance broken and longing for something real. When he encountered the reality of the righteousness [...]
Just One
Despite the challenges of running a group home for troubled teens, Tiffany and her family discover it's all worth it if they can save just one from the system and introduce her to [...]
God Speaks a Better Word
Two of her three boys are diagnosed with Fragile X Syndrome but God speaks a better word to Jeffie through the Holy Spirit prophetic words, and the Bible.
Power of Hope
Living in abundant hope, faith and power, Caroline refuses to let her diagnosis of infertility define her faith, her purpose, or the goodness of God.
Stop Rejecting Me
He spent his entire life rejecting God until kidney failure went from dialysis to a nearly fatal organ transplant, causing Chris to stop running from the only One who could save him.
Simple Prayer of Faith
Wade shares how a simple prayer of faith and following Jesus' example of laying hands on the sick has lead to supernatural healings and salvations. The ultimate goal is to follow Jesus.
A Buddhist Hears From Jesus
Growing up Buddhist, Allison sought academic praise and worldly achievements, doing all the right things but never finding peace. In the midst of a suicide attempt, she hears the [...]
The Gift of Trust
Faced with infertility, Rod and his wife choose to trust God and His plans for them through the gift of adopting a child with Cerebral Palsy. God has supernaturally revealed [...]
Spiritual Roots
After years of unexplained medical issues, Renee hears that her symptoms have spiritual roots. At the end of her rope, she considers the supernatural. Renee's faith is challenged [...]
The Forgiveness of an Adulterer
A broken past leads to lies and adultery as the foundation of their marriage. Through God's incredible grace and forgiveness, hope is found and a marriage is restored.
The Forgiveness of an Adulterer
A broken past leads to lies and adultery as the foundation of their marriage. Through God's incredible grace and forgiveness, hope is found and a marriage is restored.
The Forgiveness of a Murderer
Ryan is able to forgive his brother's murderer and offer him the same redemption and hope he has found in Christ. I was a son who needed to be redeemed and rescued. That reality [...]
Inner Healing and Deliverance
Kelsey thought inner healing and deliverance was weird until she experienced it for herself and truly understood the gospel at a deeply personal level. I think, until we as [...]
Made to Worship
Learning to pray to the Lord through singing, Aiva became connected to God. It is in worship that she found His comfort and peace in the midst of tragedy.
Keeping a Promise
Diagnosed with breast cancer at a young age in Mexico and ostracized from her family for her faith, Tethe keeps her promise to the Lord.
Voice of God
The appearance of perfection was important for Craig as a Pastor's son, but when he hears the voice of God everything changes. I heard the voice of God in a way that I didn't know [...]
A Friend of Jesus
He's carried a 12 foot wooden cross all over the world, has story after story that movies are made of, and only wants to be remembered as a friend of Jesus. He has given us an [...]
Purposefully Homeless
Led by God on a purposefully homeless journey, Rachel leaves her job, home, and modern day comforts to find the one thing money can't buy.
Light in the Darkness
Suicidal and diagnosed with over eight mental illnesses, in and out of over 20 different psych wards, on 10 psych meds, Alexis is instantly healed.
In Need of the Gospel
Through missional outreach, Jesse finds that he is in need of the gospel as much as those who haven't yet received it.
Raise My Son
Her son was dead for 21 minutes and brain dead for 2 days. In a sea of doctors, Angelic cries out to God and prays over her son through the power of the Holy Spirit, "Raise my [...]
Your Life Is Not Your Own
Rosie has attempted suicide twice since losing her son and is planning a third attempt the very day that she meets Tyler and Andy who share that her life is not her own and God has [...]
When Heaven and Earth Collide
An instrument maker by trade, Caleb receives a digital download of an instrument he has never seen and a tribe name in a dream. This dream ignites a journey where heaven and earth [...]
Unraveling Addiction, Restoring a Marriage
Aaron's life was unraveling because of his addiction and his wife uncovers the truth. Restoring their marriage becomes possible through Jesus, love, and recovery ministry.
I Give You My Life
Fourteen years old Chethan plans his suicide. He cries out to God, "I give you my life" and is overwhelmed by the presence and power of the Lord.
Knit Together
Ultrasounds revealed and confirmed, in utero, that Ashley's son August had polycystic kidney disease in both kidneys. After months of prayer, God knit together a miracle for family [...]
The Father’s House
When things don't add up, God's miraculous provision provides further confirmation for missionaries to create a discipleship house for lost sons –The Father's House.
Through the Wilderness
A seasoned hiker loses his trail and is lost for seven days. Desperate for help and ready to give up, Josh hears a Voice that guides him through the wilderness, giving him peace in [...]
Going All In
Unable to go under water due to his tracheotomy, Landon gets completely healed and is going all in for the first time at his baptism.
Hal-Le-Lu-Jah
Born with severe sleep apnea, 21 month old Landon receives a tracheotomy and doctors say he will never talk. His parents pray for complete healing and receive a miracle with one [...]
Not Ashamed
Her heart is for women caught in sex industry and life on the streets, but Nadia shares how Holy Spirit directed her to share the Father's heart for a pimp.
Running With The Gospel
After multiple confirmations of his calling, God anoints Peter's feet to run with the gospel. When a father affirms a son, there's nothing more powerful.
Give Jesus a Try
Holiday YouTube scrolling is used by the Holy Spirit to entice Machelle to give Jesus a try instead of numbing out and her identity is transformed.
God Has the Final Say…Not Cancer
Doctors sent him home to die. Sure that God had the final say and not cancer Jeff maintained, prayed without ceasing and the cancer ravaging his body was healed.
An Impossible Conception
She has battled cancer multiple times and through those challenges is told conception is impossible. But God...After 17 years of infertility, she becomes pregnant.
When All Seems Lost
On suicide watch all seems lost when JD loses nearly three quarters of a million dollars in three days. But faithful obedience pays off. I thought God was going to bless me. And [...]
Heart for the Homeless
Circumstances in her own life gives Karen a deep understanding and heart for the homeless that leads serving in South Dallas faithfully for over 23 years.
Co-Laboring In Love
A shared love for hair and Jesus finds two stylists co-laboring to bring the beauty and hope of the gospel to their downtown salon. The safest place is in His will. And, the [...]
Reclaiming the Past
Unable to trust God after the loss of his sister, EJ looks for answers and is able to reclaim the past when he has multiple encounters with Jesus.
The Risk of Faith
Looking for opportunities to celebrate God, Daniel goes out expecting God to show up in a moment and his faith is increased with every risk he takes.
An Intimate Vision
Seeing God's word as an intimate love letter draws Craig into encounters with Jesus that change his vision of himself and a deeper relationship with God.
Healing in Unbelief 2/2
Ten years of chronic, debilitating back pain leaves Camille in unbelief that it's God's will to heal her. God challenges her understanding through a "chance encounter" with an [...]
Healing in Unbelief 1/2
An obedient messenger of the Lord, Lee finds himself facing the greater challenge of unbelief than the hope and possibility of healing when he meets Camille.
Radical Love Extravagant Provision
God's radical love causes Kyna to leave drugs and alcohol behind as her daily provision becomes the extravagant love of the Lord.
Hearing God’s Voice
A string of bad choices leave Baylee broken and homeless. Desperate for help, her hope is restored by the prayer of a stranger and hearing the voice of God.
An Order to Prophecy
Knowing God is a God of order, Pierce needs confirmation and direction before sharing the prophecy he feels he's received from the Lord.
Break Through
Addicted to drugs for over 23 years, God uses what should have been a fatal car accident to break through the noise in Todd's life and draw him near.
Facing Mental Affliction
Years of mental affliction was destroying Anthony and his family. He encounters Jesus through love and inner healing and is instantly healed.
Reconciling Race
A purposeful engagement and wedding become the catalyst to reconciling race through the union of marriage and the grace of God.
Precious Pain
Paralyzed by the pain of arthritis, forced to rest and unable to care for her family Sayo hears clearly from the Lord. Her illness becomes precious.
A Step of Faith is a Step of Faith
A single step of faith begins a journey that takes Danny and his family from India to the United States. Trusting God, even when everything seemed bleak.
Provision for the Journey
They sold everything and set out on a journey, not sure where the Lord would lead them. They've learned to trust Him every step of the way.
Whoa, God is Here!
John begins each day with expectancy of what the Holy Spirit will do. Lead by the Spirit, he gets to share in some incredible supernatural experiences with God and His children.
A Really Big Yes
A few high school students say yes to God, and a culture shift happens at the school. Students are changed, revival breaks out and the Kingdom advances.
Unbelievable Expectations
From prison to praise, God redeems Mike's life in unbelievable ways causing him to have expectations for hope and favor despite his past.
Daily Desperate Dependence
When life's challenges become too great, Joe discovers the only thing that will get him through is a daily desperate dependence on the Lord. I began connecting with the Holy [...]
Freedom Behind Bars 2/2
After 34 years of serving the Lord behind bars, Gene is released. Looking back he shares some of the supernatural God moments in his life of freedom.
Freedom Behind Bars 1/2
Sentenced to life in prison for a crime he didn't commit, Gene finds Jesus and true freedom behind bars as his pleas for mercy are denied by the courts. "Unshackle him, release him [...]
Resource Room of Heaven
Financial plans crumble, car totalled, Clint feels he is being punished by God. He has an encounter with Jesus and learns about the resource room of heaven.
Courageously Weird
Stepping out on a limb for God but not wanting to be seen as weird, Molly pushes through her own fears to be courageous in the Lord. These are the stories--- these are the ones [...]
Father to the Fatherless
Growing up without a father left a void in Zach's life. He looked for life and acceptance in everything but God. Now he's partnering with God to make a difference in the lives of [...]
Dance with Me
Being single and having a deep desire to marry leads Meredith to an intimate, raw encounter with Jesus, when she hears Him say, "Dance with Me."
An Answer to Anxiety
Gripped with anxiety and desperate for hope, God's presence becomes the answer Alzavian has been searching for.
A Vision Revealed. A Waitress Consoled.
Awoken in the early morning with a vision, Ray is able to console and speak life into his waitress with God's love revealed through that vision.
Power of Prayer in the Storm of Addiction
Cherry's daughter is caught in the storm of addiction. Wanting to rescue her daughter from a life of pain and trouble, Cherry learns the power of prayer.
Inmates Pray. Cancer Healed.
Usually the one praying for the inmates he faithfully serves, Wayne is diagnosed with cancer and the inmates pray for him to be healed.
Dreams. A Glimpse of the Father’s Love.
Sally's childhood dreams are confirmed as the truth about her father's death comes to light and the Father's love is revealed.
Two Words from a Stranger…
Jeremy prays for an opportunity to share God's love. He receives a word of knowledge for a stranger. Those two specific words change both men forever.
The Height of Grace in the depths…
Abortion leaves many in the depths of despair, it is only through the heigths of the Father's love and grace that Brooke is able to forgive herself.