Peter
Running With The Gospel
(Please listen to Peter’s story by clicking the white play button at the top of this post. You can read the transcript of the story below.)
When you tell your own story, at least for me, I get, I get encouraged, because I’m like, God, you did speak to me. And I joke because, you know, over the years, I’ve seen that when God speaks something really, really clearly, like supernatural clear, where there’s no shadow of a doubt, you get really excited. But as you as you walk along this journey of walking with God, and He speaks that way, that usually the louder and the stronger that he speaks is because he knows you’re going to need an anchor for your soul. Because it’s going to get hard. And it’s, the word’s going to get tested.
God wasn’t really real to me till 2006. It was sort of my parents’ faith, and they raised me in the Lord, and I’m so grateful for their foundation. But at some point, you’ve got to make your faith your own. I just got desperate for God, because I had a consciousness of God, but I didn’t have a relationship with Him. And I just cried out for months and months, and he met me, and he became real to me. And so I’d been walking with Him for about four years and just reading the Word with a new light and just felt like I was here hearing his voice. And in 2010, I was two years out of my professional soccer career. And I was back in Dallas working at a bankruptcy law firm. I’d given, you know, 15-20 years of my life to pursuing soccer. And so at 23, there was this big kind of pivot and change of direction. I just figured I would be in the marketplace and be a radical Christian, as an attorney, or, you know, my brother’s an attorney, my dad’s an entrepreneur, like I just I really liked that path. I like the tangible world. And ministry to me seems so ethereal. But this ache was birthed in me. I mean, I remember it was like a–groan is maybe too strong of a word–but I just, it was a discontent feeling. And it wasn’t just because I was bored or anything like that. Like I knew it was from God. I think sometimes we get bored with what we’re doing and God’s calling us to stay. But the only thing I knew to do was to seek the Lord.
And so I remember early one morning, I was down in Oaklawn and I was like, I’m just going to go to the church and pray. And this was before the church had an alarm system, it was literally I had a key. So I walked up to the church, I was the only one in there. I just poured out my heart to God, really, I complained. “Poured out your heart” is the religious way of saying I complained. I just complained. And I just said, “God, I don’t know why I feel the way I feel. But I need you to speak to me.” And that’s what it was. I was desperate for his voice and for his direction.
And I had been for an hour just saying, “Lord, I don’t feel like I know which way to go. Like, am I going to go to ministry, whatever that means, or am I going to go to be a lawyer?” That was the context of my of my groaning. Because I felt like something inside of me was telling me there’s something more.
But I didn’t know what that was.
And I just said, “You have to speak to me.” And it was like immediately in my heart, it wasn’t audible and and I just heard the verse, Jeremiah 6:16. And so I read Jeremiah 6:16. And it says this. “This is what the Lord says, stand at the crossroads and look. Ask me for the ancient path, and for the good way, and walk in it, and you’ll find rest for your soul.”
And I read that, and it was like, Oh, my gosh, God just spoke to me. Like that one scripture in all of the Bible articulated exactly where I was at. I didn’t know what the ancient path was, or the good way. I was just praying sort of this I had the word but I didn’t have clarity. Does that make sense? Like I had peace in my soul, because I had heard. And I knew I was on the right path asking him, but I didn’t know what that was. So still at the crossroads. So fast forward. It was in October, I went to the movie Secretariat. It was my brother’s birthday. We went as a family. The opening line of that movie is a quote from Job 39:19-25. And she’s reading it. She goes, “Do you give the horse his strength? Do you clothe his neck with a flowing mane?” And it’s this, it’s God questioning Job. But he’s using this analogy of a horse. And I thought that was cool and poetic and thought nothing of it. And then at the end of the movie Secretariat’s won two of the three races of the Triple Crown.
The third race is the longest, and Secretariat was only supposed to be fast for short distances. And so he was expected to lose the final race. And so there I am minding my own business, and I’m watching this movie and and Secretariat starts off and he normally starts off in last place and then comes from behind and wins. Well this time in this third race, where he’s supposed to start off slow, he starts off really fast. And he just gets faster and the other horse is pressing him in and you’re watching this and you’re going, he’s going to burn out, and he’s going to lose the race. All of a sudden, about three-quarters through the race, and the movie does a great job of portraying this, the owner finally just goes, “Let him run, Ronnie, let him run.” And you see Secretariat just take off. And as I’m watching this movie, and I’m watching Secretariat just get this massive lead over Sham, I start crying in the movie. And I’m like, I don’t cry at movies. I mean, I’m not a super emotional guy. And the announcer’s, like, “He’s running like a tremendous machine.” And something inside of me, that same thing that was aching, you know, for three months, I just feel this like, I can’t describe it again. It was like deep calling to deep. I’m like, why am I crying? Why do I feel so connected to this moment? And, and I heard the Lord speak to me at the end of that movie, and it wasn’t audible again. And it was just a subtle whisper. And he said, “Son, I’ve made you to run like that horse.”
And he said, he said, “Most people think that I’m a God who just wins at the finish line, just a photo finish.” He said, “But but you know me to be the God who dominates the enemy. Who, who –he’s not even in the, he’s not even in the picture.” And he said, “Son, I’ve called you to make me known in that way.” And so I immediately went home. I read, I read Job 39:19-25. And it was like the Lord spoke to me my identity. And he said, “Son,” he said, “this is who you are. You’re this, you’re warhorse.” He said, “I haven’t called you to be anything else. But this, this describes who you are. And what I’ve called you to do on this earth.” God was speaking to my identity, more than what I would do for him, he was trying to show me who who I am in him. And that, that was really, you know, when a father affirms a son, there’s nothing more powerful.
So the next morning, I go to a prayer set that was a Friday night. It was Saturday morning, we had our prayer meeting at 10 o’clock. And a friend of mine came up to me after the prayer set. And he said, “Hey,” he goes, “we were praying this morning.” And he goes, “I just had this thought I wanted to share with you. I said, “Cool, what is it?” He says, “I know you were an athlete, in the in the natural, you’re a professional athlete,” he said, “but I just feel like God wants you to know that you’re an athlete in the spirit. And I just see you like leaping really high and running really fast.” And he just gives me this word. And he has no idea that the night before God’s told me that I want you to I want you to run like this really, really fast horse.
And so I’m like, okay, there’s a little theme here of running. I’ve got the ancient path. And so God’s piecing this thing together for me, all them, all the while I’m still working at the bankruptcy law firm, but I feel this thing and I’m like, okay, maybe this is something. And it was one morning, I was doing something in my kitchen. And I was unpacking this bag, and this oil dumped all over my feet. Again, this was in the span of like a few months, all of this happened.
I was by myself in my house, doing some random tasks. Oil dumps on my feet. I’m frustrated. It was like God’s presence and voice came into my kitchen. And he said, “Peter, I’m anointing your feet to run with the gospel.”
And this oil dumped on my feet. I was like, man, what a mess. And immediately, and this was, this was as audible as God’s voice could be without actually hearing it in your ear. It was just a knowing. People say how do you know when you hear God’s voice? You know. Like, his voice will shake you, it will make you tremble. And this is what it was. I was by myself in my house, doing some random task. Oil dumps on my feet. I’m frustrated. It was like God’s presence and voice came into my kitchen. And he said, “Peter, I’m anointed your feet to run with the gospel.” And that that shook me. Because I realized that he literally anointed my feet. And there was oil on my feet. And I couldn’t argue with the fact that somehow my Father through an accident, anointed my feet. I thought that was pretty cool. And so finally, I felt like I had some clarity to that ancient path, that good way. It had to do with the running with the gospel. That was the only phrase I had. And there was a knowing like, okay, Lord, I think you’re actually calling me to run with the gospel.
I think this is the ancient path. I think this is the good way. I’m not supposed to do law school. And so I told Christie, I said, “Babe, I think I’m supposed to, to run with the gospel.” And she had seen all these things unfold. Now, it sounds all nice when you tell all the God’s story part, but you’re having to live this out with with finance implications and relational implications. And she didn’t hear God say and, you know, like, there’s real dynamics. And my wife is amazing, because she she just knows God. And she knows how he speaks. And so she had seen the unfolding of this and the ache in my heart. And she goes, “Babe, I think this is God.”
You know, but we were both–didn’t know what that looks like, do I need to leave this law firm job? What am I going to do? There was no job at the church. The church wasn’t even a church. It was a prayer meeting. There was no like, it wasn’t like I like oh, I’ve you know, I’ve got a job waiting for me. There was nothing. I hadn’t finished my education because I did the professional soccer thing. I mean, I was, I was as as naked as you can be in terms of opportunities and having your ducks in a row. I was trying to walk with God the best I knew how. And I said, “God, I’ll leave. I want to obey you. I told you, I would walk in it.” I said, “but forgive me. (I felt like Gideon, you know), give me one more sign.” It was like that, just I need one more–“If I’m going to leave my job and not have any certainty, like I told you, I’d walk in the good way the ancient path. Christie’s down, but like, for the sake of both of us, give us something concrete, that we can really stand upon that when this gets hard, we know.”
Two weeks later, we were at church. And the wife of the husband who gave me the word came up to me, and I hadn’t been sharing anything about anything with anybody. And she came up to me and she said, “Hey”… You could tell she was real embarrassed, because, that she wasn’t used to like sharing, you know, encouragement or prophetic words with people. And she said, “Hey, this may be really random and weird.” She goes, “but I got a picture popped into my head earlier today. I didn’t know what it was. And when I got here tonight, the Lord told me to just to draw it out.” And she was an artist. So she goes, “I just drew it out on my journal page.” And she said, “The Lord told me to give it to you. I hope it makes sense.” And I opened the piece of paper. And she had drawn in pen, a guy crouched down in the starting block, like in a starting block about to start a race. And she had written on it, “get ready, set, go.” And “go” was really big. And with an exclamation point. I had been praying Lord, okay, you’ve called me to run with the gospel, I need to know is it time to go? Is it time? And, and I get this piece of paper, and she doesn’t have a clue. She’s like, does this make any, does this make…. and all I can do is laugh. I’m just laughing. And what was amazing to me, and I say this, and I’ve told them this publicly– that couple separately from each other, but together, were used by God, to send me into full-time ministry to run with the gospel. Because both of their words confirmed what God was saying to me already, through His Word, and through all these other cool things. So that really was the start of my life and ministry. And it took time for for it to unfold. And here I am 2019. And I have a ton of clarity. And I’m in full time ministry. I have a ministry called Braveheart Ministries. I’m a teaching pastor at Room. And all of my kids eat every week. And we have a roof over our head, we have five kids, and God’s providing for our family. And it started though, with just a little baby step of faith on his voice. And for me, the most profound thing, the most radical thing, the best thing about being a Christian is learning to discern the voice of God. And one of the ways for me personally, that I’ve found the ability to discern His voice is just taking time to be still. And to be quiet–without my music, without my Bible, without Instagram. Without Jesus Calling, you know. It’s just to sit and to quiet my soul and to just wait on God. And it seems like when I do that, I recognize his voice throughout the day, whether it’s through a movie, whether it’s through a billboard, whether it’s through a license plate that reminds me of a scripture.
But everything he always speaks will point us to his Son, into his Word, and it’ll it’ll, it’ll strengthen it, it’ll confirm it. But what it does is it builds our faith. And that’s what we need in this hour, I think, is people who, who take risks for God on his voice, because that’s when we’re going to see the fruit. So that’s my story, bro.
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Johnathan shares how God revealed His presence through a near-death experience, a friend's spiritual transformation, and impactful conversations, showcasing the transformative [...]
Moved with Compassion
A young boy is shot in the head and on life support. Moved with compassion Justin pushes past his fears and enters the NICU to lay hands and pray for him.
My True Identity
After years of confusion, abuse, and same sex attraction, Leslie was introduced to Jesus and found her true worth and identity.
Never Alone
Picked on for being different; confused and lonely, but never alone. Justin has always felt God's presence, The One who never gave up on him.
Not Ashamed
Her heart is for women caught in sex industry and life on the streets, but Nadia shares how Holy Spirit directed her to share the Father's heart for a pimp.
Not by Might
Bella describes her journey of finding life through community and walking by the Spirit. She gives a few examples of trusting in His might and the supernatural outcomes.
Offensive Forgiveness
Beaten and sexually abused as a child, Kathy leans on God to find freedom through love and a forgiveness that is culturally offensive.
One Sows Another Reaps
Matt shares his transformative journey from the brink of death, where he battled physical, emotional, and financial crises, to a miraculous turnaround. Through divine intervention [...]
Open to The Call
Through her own testimony of God's goodness, Dawn sees value in everyone and is open to the call of God to make sure they see it too.
Out of the Pit
Desperate, hopeless, and longing for answers John turns to mushrooms to find a way out of the pit and meets Jesus instead.
Overcoming Idols
Dustin's journey of faith and trust in God led him from fear and financial insecurity to a life of ministry, where he discovered God's miraculous provision in every step.
Partnering with God in Business
Taylor describes how God led him to start a Kingdom Business and gives examples of how Holy Spirit has empowered them to focus on Godly principles.
Persisting In Faith
As Lauren fights an incurable disease, she wrestles with the truths and promises of God despite her physical results. After trying every medical treatment possible and every inner [...]
Power Evangelism
Tom trains tens of thousands to evangelize with the power of God and sees lives radically transformed again and again, believing that there is always more.
Power of Hope
Living in abundant hope, faith and power, Caroline refuses to let her diagnosis of infertility define her faith, her purpose, or the goodness of God.
Power of Prayer in the Storm of Addiction
Cherry's daughter is caught in the storm of addiction. Wanting to rescue her daughter from a life of pain and trouble, Cherry learns the power of prayer.
Prayer is the Answer
As Tracey struggles to find peace amid life's many challenges, she finds prayer is the answer and the only way forward.
Precious Pain
Paralyzed by the pain of arthritis, forced to rest and unable to care for her family Sayo hears clearly from the Lord. Her illness becomes precious.
Prompted by Holy Spirit
Kyle is prompted by the Holy Spirit to "bless the feet". Later that morning, his feet are blessed so that all ministry expenses can be paid in full. He also details an encounter of [...]
Provision for the Journey
They sold everything and set out on a journey, not sure where the Lord would lead them. They've learned to trust Him every step of the way.
Purposefully Homeless
Led by God on a purposefully homeless journey, Rachel leaves her job, home, and modern day comforts to find the one thing money can't buy.
Radical Faith
Wanting more of God, Dave moves his family from Australia to California where radical faith is stirred up through obedience that moves mountains.
Radical Love Extravagant Provision
God's radical love causes Kyna to leave drugs and alcohol behind as her daily provision becomes the extravagant love of the Lord.
Raise My Son
Her son was dead for 21 minutes and brain dead for 2 days. In a sea of doctors, Angelic cries out to God and prays over her son through the power of the Holy Spirit, "Raise my [...]
Reclaiming the Past
Unable to trust God after the loss of his sister, EJ looks for answers and is able to reclaim the past when he has multiple encounters with Jesus.
Reconciling Race
A purposeful engagement and wedding become the catalyst to reconciling race through the union of marriage and the grace of God.
Redeeming Grace
Kristi's story chronicles a journey of brokenness transformed into beauty as God's redeeming love restores her shattered past. From the depths of despair following abortions and a [...]
Religion Makes You Crazy
Erin's world was falling apart. Her religious life left her feeling defeated and crazy, until she was taught her true identity and authority in Christ.
Resource Room of Heaven
Financial plans crumble, car totalled, Clint feels he is being punished by God. He has an encounter with Jesus and learns about the resource room of heaven.
Revival of the Heart
As Hillary longs for revival in the church, God breathes revival into the lungs of a little boy and Hillary's heart.
Running With The Gospel
After multiple confirmations of his calling, God anoints Peter's feet to run with the gospel. When a father affirms a son, there's nothing more powerful.
Seed of Faith
God gave JK a dream that has transformed his life and his entire family. What started as a seed of faith has overflowed to abundant blessings for many.
Send Me a Cardinal
A mom makes a promise to her daughters to send a cardinal from heaven. The day after her funeral a cardinal hits the window of their home. Be sure to watch the video of what [...]
Setting Captives Free
Once a slave to addiction and pornography, Anthony is now setting captives free through his non-profit and restoring their God-given identity and value.
Sharing God’s Love
Lonnie's desire to share God's love with his community transforms an entire town. From trimming hedges to baking cookies, God uses it all.
Showered with Love
As a young teen in college, Elaina find herself pregnant and afraid. But God stands in the gaps and showers her with love in the most unexpected ways.
Silencing the Inner Critic
Growing up Christian, David saw himself as a disappointment. God's audible voice silenced the inner critic that had tormented David most of his life.
Simple Prayer of Faith
Wade shares how a simple prayer of faith and following Jesus' example of laying hands on the sick has lead to supernatural healings and salvations. The ultimate goal is to follow Jesus.
Simply Say Yes
What can God do with a simple yes? Mike finds out again and again after he gives his life to Jesus and starts tithing.
Sowing Seeds
As racial issues divide a nation, Eniola shares her desire to go beyond unity to sow seeds of oneness for the next generation.
Spiritual Roots
After years of unexplained medical issues, Renee hears that her symptoms have spiritual roots. At the end of her rope, she considers the supernatural. Renee's faith is challenged [...]
Stop Rejecting Me
He spent his entire life rejecting God until kidney failure went from dialysis to a nearly fatal organ transplant, causing Chris to stop running from the only One who could save him.
Student of Forgiveness
Kathryn learns true forgiveness from her Heavenly Father, but had to become a student to truly forgive and find complete freedom for herself.
Surrender
Leaving his ways and plans behind, Bob chose to surrender everything to the Lord. In doing so, he found true freedom.
Survive or Thrive
Challenged to get from one city to another relying only on God and the kindness of strangers, Thomas learns that he can either survive or thrive. The choice is his.
Tablets of Testimony
Adam and Brooke sit down to discuss what Adam has learned about the tablets of testimony and how their depth reveals something much greater than a law.
The Blessing
What's happened since the break-in? Today we share how God has shown up in a mighty way through blessing after blessing.
The End of Me
Years of addiction and lies bring Ron to the end of himself and to the feet of God. He encounters God in the back of a police car and feels free for the first time.
The Father’s House
When things don't add up, God's miraculous provision provides further confirmation for missionaries to create a discipleship house for lost sons –The Father's House.
The Forgiveness of a Murderer
Ryan is able to forgive his brother's murderer and offer him the same redemption and hope he has found in Christ. I was a son who needed to be redeemed and rescued. That reality [...]
The Forgiveness of an Adulterer
A broken past leads to lies and adultery as the foundation of their marriage. Through God's incredible grace and forgiveness, hope is found and a marriage is restored.
The Forgiveness of an Adulterer
A broken past leads to lies and adultery as the foundation of their marriage. Through God's incredible grace and forgiveness, hope is found and a marriage is restored.
The Gift of Compassion
During a mission trip to Congo, Lisa was moved with deep compassion for sexual abuse survivors. She now sees that compassion as a beautiful gift from the Lord.
The Gift of Trust
Faced with infertility, Rod and his wife choose to trust God and His plans for them through the gift of adopting a child with Cerebral Palsy. God has supernaturally revealed [...]
The Heart of the Father
Traumatic events in Sherri's life left her battling fear most of her life. It wasn't until she uncovered the heart of her Father that she was set free.
The Height of Grace in the depths…
Abortion leaves many in the depths of despair, it is only through the heigths of the Father's love and grace that Brooke is able to forgive herself.
The Invitation
Brooke and Adam revisit some of their favorite stories. If you only listen to one Unseen Story this is the one to listen to. An instrument maker by trade, Caleb sees and hears an [...]
The Joy of the Lord is my Strength
Circumstances and people no longer define Alma. Her identity is secure and the joy of the Lord is her strength.
The Life God Intended
He had everything the world could offer, but it wasn't the life God intended for Michael. God had a better plan, one that Michael had to hit rock bottom to find.
The Miracle of Salvation
Fighting for her life in war-torn Congo, Sandrine and her family move to America where she experiences the miracle of salvation and finds true freedom.
The Mystery of God
Brad shares about his miraculous healing as a kid which led to a wrestling with faith and science. He's learning to accept the mystery of God.
The Mystery of Prayer
Seeking to understand why some of his prayers are answered and others aren't, Keith finds their is a greater mystery to prayer.
The Power of Identity
Trapped in an addiction to pornography, Josh learns the truth of his identity and the power that has to set him free.
The Power of Story
As a sports writer and pastor, Tyler knows the power of story and shares the profound impact stories have to encourage others, lift spirits, and honor God.
The Power of Testimony
As Brooke and Adam wrestle with their son's diagnosis, they find comfort in a testimony they wrote 4 years earlier that speaks to the power and love of God in their lives.
The Process of Becoming Free
As Cody sings and worships the Lord, he has a revelation that leads to breakthrough in his anxiety. He walks us through those emotions and steps, as he surrenders control to God.
The Risk of Faith
Looking for opportunities to celebrate God, Daniel goes out expecting God to show up in a moment and his faith is increased with every risk he takes.
The Unexpected Church
Through a series of unexpected events, Sam becomes the pastor of a multi-national church and finds immense joy in his calling.
The Wrestle with Hell
Paul's story is a powerful testimony of faith, and love, amid challenges faced by his wife's battle with traumatic visions in hell.
Theology of Suffering
Jim shares about his journey through his wife's life altering diagnosis, near death experience, and the miraculous birth of his son.
There is Always Hope
Throughout her life, Britni has been told by several doctors that there is no hope. But she knows that with God, there's always hope.
There’s Power in the Presence
When the world and all it offers no longer works for Kim, she finds the power and presence of God through worship music and the prophetic.
Through the Wilderness
A seasoned hiker loses his trail and is lost for seven days. Desperate for help and ready to give up, Josh hears a Voice that guides him through the wilderness, giving him peace in [...]
Today Is The Day
When multiple tragedies strike in Sarah's life she finds herself desperately seeking the Lord. From inner healing to physical healing - today is the day Sarah really meets Jesus.
True Identity
Andrea overcame childhood selective mutism and paralyzing fear through a profound encounter with God, leading her to embrace her true identity.
Trust Me
After receiving a dream from the Lord, Suzanne chooses to trust the Lord with her healing from breast cancer.
TUS Update
Brooke and Adam return home from vacation to find their home has been robbed. They process their loss and the future of the podcast with you, their listeners.
Two Words from a Stranger…
Jeremy prays for an opportunity to share God's love. He receives a word of knowledge for a stranger. Those two specific words change both men forever.
Unbelievable Expectations
From prison to praise, God redeems Mike's life in unbelievable ways causing him to have expectations for hope and favor despite his past.
Unlimited Possibilities
When God awakens Tom's heart and mind to His unlimited possibilities, Tom learns his true identity in Christ.
Unraveling Addiction, Restoring a Marriage
Aaron's life was unraveling because of his addiction and his wife uncovers the truth. Restoring their marriage becomes possible through Jesus, love, and recovery ministry.
Upside Down Kingdom
When Dave decides to attend seminary in Oxford his life is turned upside down for the Kingdom of God and hasn't been the same since.
Vehicle for the Gospel
Rapping and preaching the gospel all over the country turns out to be quite difficult when you don't have a vehicle. Moses prays and fasts for a month asking God for help. The Lord [...]
Voice of God
The appearance of perfection was important for Craig as a Pastor's son, but when he hears the voice of God everything changes. I heard the voice of God in a way that I didn't know [...]
Walk of Faith
Benedikt's walk with God takes him places he never expected as his faith grows with each step.
We Will See
Tara battled unexplained illnesses and debilitating conditions for 10 years, In a surreal moment of divine intervention she was miraculously healed.
What Are You Waiting For
Fiona shares her journey of discovering her worth and identity in Christ, from struggling with self-value to embracing her belovedness in God and helping others recognize their own [...]
What Love Feels Like
Does the darkness of sexual assault cancel God's love and purpose? Landon finds out what love feels like after a near fatal car accident.
When All Else Fails
When everything else has failed him, Neb finds himself at rock bottom crying out to God and wrestling for truth.
When All Seems Lost
On suicide watch all seems lost when JD loses nearly three quarters of a million dollars in three days. But faithful obedience pays off. I thought God was going to bless me. And [...]
When Heaven and Earth Collide
An instrument maker by trade, Caleb receives a digital download of an instrument he has never seen and a tribe name in a dream. This dream ignites a journey where heaven and earth [...]
Whoa, God is Here!
John begins each day with expectancy of what the Holy Spirit will do. Lead by the Spirit, he gets to share in some incredible supernatural experiences with God and His children.
Witness of God
Max's story revolves around his dedication to living out Mark 16:15-18. Through his ministry at a local gym, Max shares multiple stories of the miraculous.
You Belong Here
On her own at 16, Monique was searching for family, identity, a place to belong, and ended up in jail. That's where she cried out to God for the first time and discovered true life.
Your Life Is Not Your Own
Rosie has attempted suicide twice since losing her son and is planning a third attempt the very day that she meets Tyler and Andy who share that her life is not her own and God has [...]