Caroline
The Power of Hope
(Please listen to Caroline’s story by clicking the white play button at the top of this post. You can read the transcript of the story below.)
When you understand you’re not an orphan, and that you’re adopted, then you can rest, because you can trust Him. I think that’s been a huge part of our infertility story. Going from a place of feeling like you’re striving and you’re performing and if you pray a little harder, or if you eat a little healthier, or if you declare certain amount of times, or if you go up the altar x more times, then you’ll get a baby. Then God’s going to notice you and then He’ll grant you the desires of your heart. But there’s a shift that takes place when you–again, it’s Romans 8:15. I’m no longer an orphan, I receive this spirit of adoption. When you know Whose you are, you can know who you are, and when you know who you are, there’s no performance. So all the performance gets stripped away and then you can rest. And rest really is that ultimate form of trust. Of God, I trust You; so I can rest in Your goodness. I think so often, we lose sight of just how loved we are. I think that it’s easy to let fear get brought into the equation.
You know, my husband and I have been through a lot of loss with my nephew who passed away from cancer and his father who basically, immediately passed away from a brain aneurysm. And last year he [my husband] got diagnosed with cancer. What does the enemy want to do? He wants to bring fear in. But 1 John 4:18 says, ‘perfect love casts out fear.’ And it says perfect love that changes everything. But I think it’s hard to understand the perfect love without the Holy Spirit to reveal it to us. Without that perfect love, then we don’t know how to operate from a place of rest.
I was heading to Kansas City to see a friend and I had gotten on the airplane. I was reading a book, minding my own business. The book was in regards to fertility. I don’t remember what book it was. But as soon as I got off the airplane, I was just in the terminal going to find [my friend] because she was coming to pick me up. Someone started running after me and they tapped me on the shoulder. They were like, “Excuse me. I need to talk to you. I saw the book that you were reading on the airplane, and I couldn’t help but notice what it was.” Which of course, here I am thinking, there’s no way anyone’s gonna see whatever I’m reading. And she was like, “As soon as we landed, you turned your WiFi on, and you went straight to the Bible app. So I assumed you were also a Christian.” She was like, “I want to let you know that I go to church that believes that God heals infertility. We believe in life, and I want to invite you to come to our church because we’d love to pray for you.”
At the same time, she handed me her business card. Well, it turned out she lived just five miles down the road from where we lived in Texas. Keep in mind, we’re now in Kansas City at this point. In addition, her business card had a ministry on it that my husband used to volunteer for. So there was immediate connections right there and right then. I remember how much hope was released in that conversation. She prayed for me in the airport. And I just, I can still recall texting my husband and being like, you won’t believe what just happened. Because to know that there was someone, or a whole church, or congregation that would believe for something that we were told would never happen, just meant everything.
So after I got back home to Dallas, we ended up connecting and stepped foot into the church, she then suggested. Sure enough, everything changed. I’m sure so many people can relate. You walk into a church, and, you know–this is home. That’s exactly how we felt. So while we were once in an environment where it was just, Hey, sorry you’re going through infertility. I’m sorry, you’re never going to have kids. We’ll hug you and grieve with you. We were now in an environment where worship was alive. Where you could feel the presence of the Lord. Where the Holy Spirit and the gifts of the Holy Spirit were acknowledged. Where people would believe that even if you were in a hard season, that God had a better story for you.
So we did receive the Holy Spirit and we were hungry for all of it. I often get asked, “Were you and your husband on the same journey?”, and we both were. We couldn’t deny what we were seeing. We couldn’t deny the healings that were taking place. We couldn’t deny the hope that we had received. We couldn’t deny what it was doing in our marriage and our life and just even personally. So thinking back on the airport story, I called her my “Airport Angel.” When she approached me, I think I was hungry to know–you’re saying that what I’ve been thinking is true, in the sense that infertility is not the end of the story. It’s part of the story, but it’s not the end. And that there are people who are willing to believe with us. I think that changes everything.
For us, we received the Spirit when we were at a healing prayer. Their healing prayers just modeled where you are invited on a Saturday, it’s just come and go, you kind of write down your need. They pray for you probably in groups of three or four and this couple just asked us, “Have you two received the Holy Spirit?” And we were saying, “No, but whatever, whatever is going on here, we want it.” Because again, we can feel the tangible presence. We can see the hope. We see that worship is alive. That the church looks alive when a lot of churches and people, including myself before that, looked dead. Again, the life that I was living didn’t look like it was producing fruit or alive. And so it was at that time that we received the Holy Spirit and I don’t think we thought much of it. We just thought we want whatever these people have, and we want what they’re carrying. Because you can’t deny it. You can’t deny what you’re seeing. You can’t deny healings that are taking place. You can’t deny what the Lord was doing. Now at times were we like, “Well, this is different”? Absolutely. It was different, but we knew we wanted more of it. Yeah.
Soon after going to this church, I would say was really the turning point for our infertility journey. When we first got diagnosed with infertility, even though the doctor said it was absolutely impossible to physically have kids medically, not that there was a 5% chance or 10% chance, but there was a 0% chance we would ever conceive. We still had hope in that moment. I knew that God was good. I knew that He didn’t give me this desire to tease me or torture me. But it was a desire that He had put in my heart. But at the same time, was very bound to thinking that I had to prove myself to Him. So I got really caught up in doing all the things I could do on my end. So researching all the healthy foods that we could eat. Which in content, I don’t think is bad. But when it’s out of, you know, kind of a religious mindset, it turned to be really unhealthy. It was more about seeking out what we could do to become pregnant. I still remember, again soon after going to that church, going to healing prayer and crying to them, because the night before I had had a glass of wine. I was in such bondage thinking that because I had a glass of wine that God was punishing me and wasn’t going to give me a baby.
I reached my turning point. One morning, I had woken up. I had had a dream and in the dream I was pregnant, and I was so excited thinking, Oh my gosh, this is it. This is the time I’m going to find out I’m pregnant. God, you’re so good. And waking up that morning and taking a test. It was negative and then starting a cycle. In that moment, I still remember the Lord saying, “Are you going to trust Me? Because right now you kind of look like a toddler who’s trying to make it happen. Who’s throwing a fit. Who isn’t even looking to Me for love or looking to Me for the answers. Instead, you’re trying to figure it out yourself.” So in that moment, He asked me to surrender. And thankfully I did. Everything changed in that moment. Because I was able to give it over to Him, knowing it’s not by my works, but it’s by His grace. It’s because of His love that I’m going to be a mom.
So what had been up to that point a year and a half of being pretty miserable of not being able to celebrate other people’s pregnancies, of living month to month, cycle to cycle. Being upset every time there was a new cycle. Again, trying all the diets and just being in bondage to little things like having a glass of wine and thinking God was punishing me. I was completely set free from all of that.
I’ve just decided I would rather live a life of just radical hope and faith and belief than going one day, and doubt or unbelief. We can’t read God’s word, and not be filled with hope.
What’s beautiful is, I haven’t had a baby yet. But this time has been the most amazing time. It’s now been a total of about seven and a half years of our journey of believing and it’s been amazing. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Because at the end of the day, I’m like, “Lord, what I want is You.” And it’s so much more fulfilling than any baby can give me physically. I just truly believe, He is the gift. I think I’ve just realized that I don’t want to look back, whether it was two years or five years, or now seven years, or 10 years, knowing that I had wasted any time with Him. But that I had the choice and the option to live every day, in abundant life. I had the choice to live every day to the fullest and live it every day with Him.
I ended up quitting my job two years ago, which is really hard for me. The Lord had asked me to start a support group for women going through infertility. At that time, I was doing both and that worked for a little while, but I was also writing on a blog, which is totally a God story. Because growing up I was never a writer. I always struggled in that area. Clearly got my degree in finance. Still remember Him telling me to start a blog and I laughed. Here I am, seven years later, still blogging.
Pretty much everything I’m doing, I will tell you I never thought I would be doing it. And that’s what’s beautiful about being on this journey with Father is just, I just keep saying, “Yes.” I’m just like, “You have to have all of me and I’m just going to keep saying yes to whatever it is You call me to do.” And it’s included things that make me so uncomfortable like speaking on stages–which I absolutely and my natural can’t stand and despise. Yet, He has continued to call me to do it. It’s included things like write a book and continuing to blog and start a podcast and, and now lead a ministry that’s gone nationwide and worldwide. What’s so beautiful is when we do completely surrender, when we give up our life to Him, He writes such a [more] beautiful story, than we could. I would much rather be doing something where He’s given me the grace to do it.
We really feel like with Moms in the Making, we’ve set ourselves apart because we stand for life. And that God’s original idea and intent, going back to Genesis, was ‘be fruitful and multiply’ that He is–I’ve just been studying so much in Genesis that He obviously is the creator. The Creator lives on the inside of us. We are put on this earth to multiply and reproduce. And that’s not just babies. That’s what we’re doing spiritually as well. So what we stand for with Moms in the Making, ruffles the religious spirit. So much, that we get a lot of pushback. That I’ve just decided I would rather live a life of radical hope and faith and belief than going one day in doubt or unbelief. And so much of that has just come from reading God’s word. We can’t read God’s word, and not be filled with hope. Because if we understand it’s true, if we understand it’s alive and it’s active, and that we have resurrection power that lives on the inside of us. I will never get over that the same power that raised Christ from the dead lives on the inside of me. I have no reason not to be the most hopeful person in the world.
The world is all groaning for something and it’s, it’s that hope that they’re longing for. I love that Romans 15:13. It says, ‘Now may God, the inspiration and fountain of hope, fill you to overflow with uncontainable joy and perfect peace as you trust in Him. And may the power of the Holy Spirit continually surround your life with His super abundance until you radiate with hope.’ And I feel like this verse right here, how can we not get our hopes up, just reading this verse? There’s a fountain of hope that we have perfect peace and it all goes back, of course, to putting our trust in Him.
You know, I think some people look at me and my story, and I’ve been accused of this, which is why I think this; Well, she’s just in denial. She’s just in denial from the diagnosis. She’s just in denial from what’s really going on. Or, she’s just faking it or she’s not processed it or she’s pushing it away. But the truth is, I’m not denying what we’re going through, I’m just denying it a place to exist. I deny cancer the right to exist. I deny infertility the right to exist. I deny any health problems that are not perfect the right to exist. Because I know what God’s word says. And again, when we know Who lives inside of us, it changes everything.
One of my songs that I love is called “Get Your Hopes Up.” And it’s just so much more fun living in hope. I love Romans 4:18. ‘Against all odds, when everything looks hopeless, Abraham believed.’ And it goes on to say, ‘Because Abraham took God at His word, he became the father of many nations.’ And I just love, ‘against all odds,’ like Abraham was 100, he had no sperm. Sarah had no eggs. There was no physical way for them to conceive. Obviously their story resides much with mine, because that’s part of our story. But he had hope and he took God at His word. And that’s what I’ve just chosen to do. It’s God. Everything filters through the lens of God being good and everything filters through what His Word says. It’s so fun being hopeful.
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Anita offers a simple honest prayer to God after years of pain as she begins the process of hope and restoration from the mother wounds that she experienced in her childhood and [...]
But I Am Innocent
Joe is convicted and sentenced to 6 months in a federal prison. Crying out to Him of his innocence Joe hears the Lord speak back, "so was I".
Jesus Came in Like a Boss
After years of addiction and lies, Jamie says that "Jesus came in like a Boss" and delivered her from all of it. Her life has been redeemed and restored.
Silencing the Inner Critic
Growing up Christian, David saw himself as a disappointment. God's audible voice silenced the inner critic that had tormented David most of his life.
Moved with Compassion
A young boy is shot in the head and on life support. Moved with compassion Justin pushes past his fears and enters the NICU to lay hands and pray for him.
God is After You
Joseph needed more than religious do's and don'ts to comfort his broken heart. A new friend told him "God is after you!", which led to him hearing from God and his healing.
Prompted by Holy Spirit
Kyle is prompted by the Holy Spirit to "bless the feet". Later that morning, his feet are blessed so that all ministry expenses can be paid in full. He also details an encounter of [...]
Don’t Give Up. Rise Up.
On a mission trip in Nigeria, Ayelen contracts Ebola. Upon returning to Argentina, she is hopitalized and left for dead. As she cries out to the Lord for help she hears the Lord [...]
Vehicle for the Gospel
Rapping and preaching the gospel all over the country turns out to be quite difficult when you don't have a vehicle. Moses prays and fasts for a month asking God for help. The Lord [...]
Awakening to God’s Love
God's reckless pursuit of Seth, despite his anger and drug use, comes to a head as his parents' deteriorating health leads Seth to his knees and an awakening to God's beautiful love.
Defined by the Father
Trying to live up to his father's expectations, Colin was depressed, hopeless and lost. At a conference Colin encounters the living God, he is healed physically, spiritually and [...]
Leaving Everything for Jesus
Searching for fulfillment and satisfaction in what the world offered left Lance broken and longing for something real. When he encountered the reality of the righteousness [...]
Just One
Despite the challenges of running a group home for troubled teens, Tiffany and her family discover it's all worth it if they can save just one from the system and introduce her to [...]
God Speaks a Better Word
Two of her three boys are diagnosed with Fragile X Syndrome but God speaks a better word to Jeffie through the Holy Spirit prophetic words, and the Bible.
Power of Hope
Living in abundant hope, faith and power, Caroline refuses to let her diagnosis of infertility define her faith, her purpose, or the goodness of God.
Stop Rejecting Me
He spent his entire life rejecting God until kidney failure went from dialysis to a nearly fatal organ transplant, causing Chris to stop running from the only One who could save him.
Simple Prayer of Faith
Wade shares how a simple prayer of faith and following Jesus' example of laying hands on the sick has lead to supernatural healings and salvations. The ultimate goal is to follow Jesus.
A Buddhist Hears From Jesus
Growing up Buddhist, Allison sought academic praise and worldly achievements, doing all the right things but never finding peace. In the midst of a suicide attempt, she hears the [...]
The Gift of Trust
Faced with infertility, Rod and his wife choose to trust God and His plans for them through the gift of adopting a child with Cerebral Palsy. God has supernaturally revealed [...]
Spiritual Roots
After years of unexplained medical issues, Renee hears that her symptoms have spiritual roots. At the end of her rope, she considers the supernatural. Renee's faith is challenged [...]
The Forgiveness of an Adulterer
A broken past leads to lies and adultery as the foundation of their marriage. Through God's incredible grace and forgiveness, hope is found and a marriage is restored.
The Forgiveness of an Adulterer
A broken past leads to lies and adultery as the foundation of their marriage. Through God's incredible grace and forgiveness, hope is found and a marriage is restored.
The Forgiveness of a Murderer
Ryan is able to forgive his brother's murderer and offer him the same redemption and hope he has found in Christ. I was a son who needed to be redeemed and rescued. That reality [...]
Inner Healing and Deliverance
Kelsey thought inner healing and deliverance was weird until she experienced it for herself and truly understood the gospel at a deeply personal level. I think, until we as [...]
Made to Worship
Learning to pray to the Lord through singing, Aiva became connected to God. It is in worship that she found His comfort and peace in the midst of tragedy.
Keeping a Promise
Diagnosed with breast cancer at a young age in Mexico and ostracized from her family for her faith, Tethe keeps her promise to the Lord.
Voice of God
The appearance of perfection was important for Craig as a Pastor's son, but when he hears the voice of God everything changes. I heard the voice of God in a way that I didn't know [...]
A Friend of Jesus
He's carried a 12 foot wooden cross all over the world, has story after story that movies are made of, and only wants to be remembered as a friend of Jesus. He has given us an [...]
Purposefully Homeless
Led by God on a purposefully homeless journey, Rachel leaves her job, home, and modern day comforts to find the one thing money can't buy.
Light in the Darkness
Suicidal and diagnosed with over eight mental illnesses, in and out of over 20 different psych wards, on 10 psych meds, Alexis is instantly healed.
In Need of the Gospel
Through missional outreach, Jesse finds that he is in need of the gospel as much as those who haven't yet received it.
Raise My Son
Her son was dead for 21 minutes and brain dead for 2 days. In a sea of doctors, Angelic cries out to God and prays over her son through the power of the Holy Spirit, "Raise my [...]
Your Life Is Not Your Own
Rosie has attempted suicide twice since losing her son and is planning a third attempt the very day that she meets Tyler and Andy who share that her life is not her own and God has [...]
When Heaven and Earth Collide
An instrument maker by trade, Caleb receives a digital download of an instrument he has never seen and a tribe name in a dream. This dream ignites a journey where heaven and earth [...]
Unraveling Addiction, Restoring a Marriage
Aaron's life was unraveling because of his addiction and his wife uncovers the truth. Restoring their marriage becomes possible through Jesus, love, and recovery ministry.
I Give You My Life
Fourteen years old Chethan plans his suicide. He cries out to God, "I give you my life" and is overwhelmed by the presence and power of the Lord.
Knit Together
Ultrasounds revealed and confirmed, in utero, that Ashley's son August had polycystic kidney disease in both kidneys. After months of prayer, God knit together a miracle for family [...]
The Father’s House
When things don't add up, God's miraculous provision provides further confirmation for missionaries to create a discipleship house for lost sons –The Father's House.
Through the Wilderness
A seasoned hiker loses his trail and is lost for seven days. Desperate for help and ready to give up, Josh hears a Voice that guides him through the wilderness, giving him peace in [...]
Going All In
Unable to go under water due to his tracheotomy, Landon gets completely healed and is going all in for the first time at his baptism.
Hal-Le-Lu-Jah
Born with severe sleep apnea, 21 month old Landon receives a tracheotomy and doctors say he will never talk. His parents pray for complete healing and receive a miracle with one [...]
Not Ashamed
Her heart is for women caught in sex industry and life on the streets, but Nadia shares how Holy Spirit directed her to share the Father's heart for a pimp.
Running With The Gospel
After multiple confirmations of his calling, God anoints Peter's feet to run with the gospel. When a father affirms a son, there's nothing more powerful.
Give Jesus a Try
Holiday YouTube scrolling is used by the Holy Spirit to entice Machelle to give Jesus a try instead of numbing out and her identity is transformed.
God Has the Final Say…Not Cancer
Doctors sent him home to die. Sure that God had the final say and not cancer Jeff maintained, prayed without ceasing and the cancer ravaging his body was healed.
An Impossible Conception
She has battled cancer multiple times and through those challenges is told conception is impossible. But God...After 17 years of infertility, she becomes pregnant.
When All Seems Lost
On suicide watch all seems lost when JD loses nearly three quarters of a million dollars in three days. But faithful obedience pays off. I thought God was going to bless me. And [...]
Heart for the Homeless
Circumstances in her own life gives Karen a deep understanding and heart for the homeless that leads serving in South Dallas faithfully for over 23 years.
Co-Laboring In Love
A shared love for hair and Jesus finds two stylists co-laboring to bring the beauty and hope of the gospel to their downtown salon. The safest place is in His will. And, the [...]
Reclaiming the Past
Unable to trust God after the loss of his sister, EJ looks for answers and is able to reclaim the past when he has multiple encounters with Jesus.
The Risk of Faith
Looking for opportunities to celebrate God, Daniel goes out expecting God to show up in a moment and his faith is increased with every risk he takes.
An Intimate Vision
Seeing God's word as an intimate love letter draws Craig into encounters with Jesus that change his vision of himself and a deeper relationship with God.
Healing in Unbelief 2/2
Ten years of chronic, debilitating back pain leaves Camille in unbelief that it's God's will to heal her. God challenges her understanding through a "chance encounter" with an [...]
Healing in Unbelief 1/2
An obedient messenger of the Lord, Lee finds himself facing the greater challenge of unbelief than the hope and possibility of healing when he meets Camille.
Radical Love Extravagant Provision
God's radical love causes Kyna to leave drugs and alcohol behind as her daily provision becomes the extravagant love of the Lord.
Hearing God’s Voice
A string of bad choices leave Baylee broken and homeless. Desperate for help, her hope is restored by the prayer of a stranger and hearing the voice of God.
An Order to Prophecy
Knowing God is a God of order, Pierce needs confirmation and direction before sharing the prophecy he feels he's received from the Lord.
Break Through
Addicted to drugs for over 23 years, God uses what should have been a fatal car accident to break through the noise in Todd's life and draw him near.
Facing Mental Affliction
Years of mental affliction was destroying Anthony and his family. He encounters Jesus through love and inner healing and is instantly healed.
Reconciling Race
A purposeful engagement and wedding become the catalyst to reconciling race through the union of marriage and the grace of God.
Precious Pain
Paralyzed by the pain of arthritis, forced to rest and unable to care for her family Sayo hears clearly from the Lord. Her illness becomes precious.
A Step of Faith is a Step of Faith
A single step of faith begins a journey that takes Danny and his family from India to the United States. Trusting God, even when everything seemed bleak.
Provision for the Journey
They sold everything and set out on a journey, not sure where the Lord would lead them. They've learned to trust Him every step of the way.
Whoa, God is Here!
John begins each day with expectancy of what the Holy Spirit will do. Lead by the Spirit, he gets to share in some incredible supernatural experiences with God and His children.
A Really Big Yes
A few high school students say yes to God, and a culture shift happens at the school. Students are changed, revival breaks out and the Kingdom advances.
Unbelievable Expectations
From prison to praise, God redeems Mike's life in unbelievable ways causing him to have expectations for hope and favor despite his past.
Daily Desperate Dependence
When life's challenges become too great, Joe discovers the only thing that will get him through is a daily desperate dependence on the Lord. I began connecting with the Holy [...]
Freedom Behind Bars 2/2
After 34 years of serving the Lord behind bars, Gene is released. Looking back he shares some of the supernatural God moments in his life of freedom.
Freedom Behind Bars 1/2
Sentenced to life in prison for a crime he didn't commit, Gene finds Jesus and true freedom behind bars as his pleas for mercy are denied by the courts. "Unshackle him, release him [...]
Resource Room of Heaven
Financial plans crumble, car totalled, Clint feels he is being punished by God. He has an encounter with Jesus and learns about the resource room of heaven.
Courageously Weird
Stepping out on a limb for God but not wanting to be seen as weird, Molly pushes through her own fears to be courageous in the Lord. These are the stories--- these are the ones [...]
Father to the Fatherless
Growing up without a father left a void in Zach's life. He looked for life and acceptance in everything but God. Now he's partnering with God to make a difference in the lives of [...]
Dance with Me
Being single and having a deep desire to marry leads Meredith to an intimate, raw encounter with Jesus, when she hears Him say, "Dance with Me."
An Answer to Anxiety
Gripped with anxiety and desperate for hope, God's presence becomes the answer Alzavian has been searching for.
A Vision Revealed. A Waitress Consoled.
Awoken in the early morning with a vision, Ray is able to console and speak life into his waitress with God's love revealed through that vision.
Power of Prayer in the Storm of Addiction
Cherry's daughter is caught in the storm of addiction. Wanting to rescue her daughter from a life of pain and trouble, Cherry learns the power of prayer.
Inmates Pray. Cancer Healed.
Usually the one praying for the inmates he faithfully serves, Wayne is diagnosed with cancer and the inmates pray for him to be healed.
Dreams. A Glimpse of the Father’s Love.
Sally's childhood dreams are confirmed as the truth about her father's death comes to light and the Father's love is revealed.
Two Words from a Stranger…
Jeremy prays for an opportunity to share God's love. He receives a word of knowledge for a stranger. Those two specific words change both men forever.
The Height of Grace in the depths…
Abortion leaves many in the depths of despair, it is only through the heigths of the Father's love and grace that Brooke is able to forgive herself.