Anita

A Mother’s Wound

(Please listen to Anita’s story by clicking the white play button at the top of this post. You can read the transcript of the story below.)

I just didn’t feel loved. I didn’t feel loved by the maternal figures in my life. And I began to wonder, could God fill that hole? Could God fill that mother hole for me?

When I began to invite the Holy Spirit into my heart, He began to reveal the maternal heart and the heartbeat of God for me. You know, in the beginning, before the creation of the world when everything was void and when everything was a big, like mess, the Spirit of the Lord hovered and He separated the darkness from the light. I felt like the Spirit of God came into my life and just separated that darkness for me, and He began to reveal Himself. This light began to come through that illuminated all this wounding and dark places in my life. 

When I turned 40, my whole life just fell apart. I woke up, and I found myself just curled up in fetal position on the floor, not wanting to face another day. Everything that I knew about God, about faith, everything just went out the window. I woke up that morning wondering, God, why did You create me? But in that desperate moment, I did pray a prayer. And I said, “God, if You’re up there somewhere on a cloud, You might be busy with someone else, but I really need You here right now. Because I simply cannot feel You, I can’t hear You, but I want You to show up in my life. And I believe that simple and honest prayer was enough for the God of the universe to come down into my mess. He just opened up my life and He opened up my heart to receive love. 

You know, the God I knew from the past, it was this kind of punitive God, high and mighty, He resides up in heaven and you know, I was so distant. But now I began to experience a God who came down to me in my pit. God began to reveal to me that I had a deep core mother wound. I just didn’t feel loved. I didn’t feel loved by the maternal figures in my life. And I began to wonder, could God fill that hole? Could God fill that mother hole for me? I began to look at scripture and I began to see that God has a mother’s heart for us.

In Hosea 13:8, you know, the picture of God as a mother bear, spoke to me very deeply. I began to have these visual imagery of God as a mother bear and being protective. And so I began to experience that type of fierce, protective love. In Isaiah 49:15, “Can a mother forget the infant at her breast walk away from the baby she bore? But even if mothers forget, I will never forget you, never.” In Hebrews 13:5 God says, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” These scriptures begin to come alive.

I began to think about those times when I had to stay up all night with my babies. I had chronically ill kids when they were little. I had to stay up with both of them. There were times when I was feeding one and staying up, and making sure the other one was breathing and staying alive. I mean, it was just nightmarish and this went on for several years during my early parenting years. But God reminded me, just like you stayed up, and you watched over your babies, I have been staying up all these years, and even while you were crying, and even while you were hurting, whether it was emotionally or physically. All that time when you experienced abandonment and rejection and when you experienced illness and infertility and all this stuff, I was watching over you. Just like you were watching over your babies. I do not sleep, I do not slumber. These words were so powerful to me. 

So I believe God gave me the privilege of motherhood, to reveal to me what it looked like to not sleep for over a decade. I’m blessed to be in this space and understand that the God who never sleeps nor slumbers, He’s got my back. In the middle of the night, when all seems utterly chaotic, day will break and no situation will be forever. I just know that firsthand. It almost felt like God just downloaded this peace to my heart. That my despair, you know? That core mother wound and that abandonment that I was feeling–I almost felt like He just supernaturally showed me and brought to my memory, these verses and imagery of how God is that mother too. He’s our Father, but He is also a mother to the motherless, you know, in a figurative sense. 

When we are first in this world, mom’s arms are where we go for comfort. We run to mom when this world feels dangerous and when this world feels unsafe, whether it’s falling and bruising yourself or you feel emotionally hurt or whatever, or somebody said something to you. But unfortunately, I didn’t experience that comfort. My mom did her best. And when I think back, the generations before us, they did their best and you can only give what you have received. If there is hurt and wounding and brokenness in generations past and if it isn’t dealt with or if it isn’t healed, we can pass it on to our children and our children’s children. But if those stories are healed, and we experience restoration and redemption, you will pass the blessing to the next generation, to the third and the fourth generation and that’s God’s promise. 

He just supernaturally showed me and brought to my memory, these verses and imagery of how God is that mother too. He’s our Father, but He is also a mother to the motherless…

So mom wounds, like mom supposed to be associated with cookies and nurture and baking and sweet things. You know? Nobody wants to talk about this. It’s there. We can either face our wounding, or we can just succumb to it and go under. But we do have a choice to make. And when we begin to take that first step, and just really call out to Him, He will meet us right where we are. There is no doubt in my mind that He will.

Jesus came to give us life and life in abundance. And when we talk about life in abundance, it doesn’t necessarily mean material things, although God does bless His children. But you know, for me to experience that abundance in my emotion, in my soul, in my mind, that abundance of you know, just peace, all of that happened from that defining moment on the floor. I have embraced my identity, my true identity and purpose that the Lord has set apart for me since that moment. That was a breaking moment, but that was also my making moment. And I want to encourage anybody out there who’s listening, that you matter to God. You are put on this earth with a unique purpose that only you can fulfill. He sees you, you matter. Your story matters, and He can use your redeemed story for your good and His glory.

The story doesn’t own me anymore. I own my redeemed story. And I want to share that with the world.

DONATE NOW TO HELP US BRING YOU MORE STORIES

Latest Stories

Made Perfect

Left with two options, believe the doctors or believe the Lord, Krissia chooses the word of God, that He made her daughter perfect. Her faith in that promise changed everything.

A Mother’s Wound

Anita offers a simple honest prayer to God after years of pain as she begins the process of hope and restoration from the mother wounds that she experienced in her childhood and [...]

But I Am Innocent

Joe is convicted and sentenced to 6 months in a federal prison. Crying out to Him of his innocence Joe hears the Lord speak back, "so was I".

Jesus Came in Like a Boss

After years of addiction and lies, Jamie says that "Jesus came in like a Boss" and delivered her from all of it. Her life has been redeemed and restored.

Silencing the Inner Critic

Growing up Christian, David saw himself as a disappointment. God's audible voice silenced the inner critic that had tormented David most of his life.

Moved with Compassion

A young boy is shot in the head and on life support. Moved with compassion Justin pushes past his fears and enters the NICU to lay hands and pray for him.

God is After You

Joseph needed more than religious do's and don'ts to comfort his broken heart. A new friend told him "God is after you!", which led to him hearing from God and his healing.

Don’t Give Up. Rise Up.

On a mission trip in Nigeria, Ayelen contracts Ebola. Upon returning to Argentina, she is hopitalized and left for dead. As she cries out to the Lord for help she hears the Lord [...]

Vehicle for the Gospel

Rapping and preaching the gospel all over the country turns out to be quite difficult when you don't have a vehicle. Moses prays and fasts for a month asking God for help. The Lord [...]

Awakening to God’s Love

God's reckless pursuit of Seth, despite his anger and drug use, comes to a head as his parents' deteriorating health leads Seth to his knees and an awakening to God's beautiful love.

Defined by the Father

Trying to live up to his father's expectations, Colin was depressed, hopeless and lost. At a conference Colin encounters the living God, he is healed physically, spiritually and [...]

Leaving Everything for Jesus

Searching for fulfillment and satisfaction in what the world offered left Lance broken and longing for something real. When he encountered the reality of the righteousness [...]

Just One

Despite the challenges of running a group home for troubled teens, Tiffany and her family discover it's all worth it if they can save just one from the system and introduce her to [...]

God Speaks a Better Word

Two of her three boys are diagnosed with Fragile X Syndrome but God speaks a better word to Jeffie through the Holy Spirit prophetic words, and the Bible.

Power of Hope

Living in abundant hope, faith and power, Caroline refuses to let her diagnosis of infertility define her faith, her purpose, or the goodness of God.

Stop Rejecting Me

He spent his entire life rejecting God until kidney failure went from dialysis to a nearly fatal organ transplant, causing Chris to stop running from the only One who could save him.

Simple Prayer of Faith

Wade shares how a simple prayer of faith and following Jesus' example of laying hands on the sick has lead to supernatural healings and salvations. The ultimate goal is to follow [...]

A Buddhist Hears From Jesus

Growing up Buddhist, Allison sought academic praise and worldly achievements, doing all the right things but never finding peace. In the midst of a suicide attempt, she hears the [...]

The Story Behind TUS Q&A pt. 2

Brooke, Adam and with the help of their CEO (Chief Encouragement Officer) Meredith answer listeners' questions on their stories, ministry challenges, and what's next for The Unseen [...]

The Gift of Trust

Faced with infertility, Rod and his wife choose to trust God and His plans for them through the gift of adopting a child with Cerebral Palsy. God has supernaturally revealed [...]

Spiritual Roots

After years of unexplained medical issues, Renee hears that her symptoms have spiritual roots. At the end of her rope, she considers the supernatural. Renee's faith is challenged [...]

The Forgiveness of an Adulterer

A broken past leads to lies and adultery as the foundation of their marriage. Through God's incredible grace and forgiveness, hope is found and a marriage is restored.

The Forgiveness of an Adulterer

A broken past leads to lies and adultery as the foundation of their marriage. Through God's incredible grace and forgiveness, hope is found and a marriage is restored.

Made to Worship

Learning to pray to the Lord through singing, Aiva became connected to God. It is in worship that she found His comfort, peace, nearness, and more in the midst of tragedy. I've [...]

Keeping a Promise

Diagnosed with breast cancer at a young age in Mexico and ostracized from her family for her faith, Tethe keeps her promise to the Lord. In 1997 I had no hope to live. I didn't [...]

Voice of God

The appearance of perfection was important for Craig as a Pastor's son, but when he hears the voice of God everything changes. I heard the voice of God in a way that I didn't know [...]

A Friend of Jesus

He's carried a 12 foot wooden cross all over the world, has story after story that movies are made of, and only wants to be remembered as a friend of Jesus. He has given us an [...]

Purposefully Homeless

Led by God on a purposefully homeless journey, Rachel leaves her job, home, and modern day comforts to find the one thing money can't buy. I wasn't raised this kind of [...]

In Need of the Gospel

Through missional outreach, Jesse realizes we are all in need of the gospel. He is burdened with the weight of sharing and living for His Kingdom. There are people that are, that [...]

I Give You My Life

Fourteen years old and struggling with insecurity and feeling weak, Chethan plans his suicide. He cries out to God, "I give you my life" and is overwhelmed by the presence and [...]

Knit Together

Ultrasounds revealed and confirmed, in utero, that Ashley's son August had polycystic kidney disease in both kidneys. After months of prayer, God knit together a miracle for family [...]

The Father’s House

When things don't add up, God's miraculous provision provides further confirmation for missionaries to create a discipleship house for lost sons –The Father's House.

Through the Wilderness

A seasoned hiker loses his trail and is lost for seven days. Desperate for help and ready to give up, Josh hears a Voice that guides him through the wilderness, giving him peace in [...]

Going All In

"When I was born on May 4, 2012, I was already fighting for my life. Just like everyone here, God had a purpose for my life. After spending three weeks in the NICU at birth, I [...]

Hal-Le-Lu-Jah

Born with severe sleep apnea, 21 month old Landon receives a tracheotomy and doctors say he will never talk. His parents pray for complete healing and receive a miracle with one [...]

Not Ashamed

Her heart is for women caught in sex industry and life on the streets, but Nadia shares how Holy Spirit directed her to share the Father's heart for a pimp.

Running With The Gospel

After multiple confirmations of his calling, God anoints Peter's feet to run with the gospel. When a father affirms a son, there's nothing more powerful.

Give Jesus a Try

I had constant suicidal thoughts, like, on the regular, I always thought about wanting to kill myself, because I never thought I was ever good enough. And I always thought that, [...]

God Has the Final Say…Not Cancer

Doctors sent him home to die. Sure that God had the final say and not cancer Jeff maintained, prayed without ceasing and the cancer ravaging his body was healed.

An Impossible Conception

She has battled cancer multiple times and through those challenges is told conception is impossible. But God...After 17 years of infertility, she becomes pregnant.

When All Seems Lost

On suicide watch all seems lost when JD loses nearly three quarters of a million dollars in three days. But faithful obedience pays off. I thought God was going to bless me. And [...]

Heart for the Homeless

Circumstances in her own life gives Karen a deep understanding and heart for the homeless that leads serving in South Dallas faithfully for over 23 years.

Co-Laboring In Love

A shared love for hair and Jesus finds two stylists co-laboring to bring the beauty and hope of the gospel to their downtown salon. The safest place is in His will. And, the [...]

Reclaiming the Past

Unable to trust God after the loss of his sister, EJ looks for answers and is able to reclaim the past when he has multiple encounters with Jesus. I think fear will keep you from [...]

The Story Behind The Unseen Story

His love surpasses knowledge; it's a peace that surpasses understanding. That means it's beyond, what God does, has to be beyond our intellect. If we can understand God, then we [...]

The Risk of Faith

Looking for opportunities to celebrate God, Daniel goes out expecting God to show up in a moment and his faith is increased with every risk he takes. For me, it's all about Jesus. [...]

An Intimate Vision

Seeing God's word as an intimate love letter draws Craig into encounters with Jesus that change his vision of himself and a deeper relationship with God.

Healing in Unbelief 1/2

An ambassador for Christ, Lee finds himself faced with Camille's unbelief despite his certainty that God is going to supernaturally heal her. If I could teach anybody, anything, [...]

Radical Love Extravagant Provision

God's radical love causes Kyna to leave drugs and alcohol behind as her daily provision becomes the extravagant love of the Lord. I want to walk in radical love and radical [...]

Hearing God’s Voice

A string of bad choices leave Baylee broken and homeless. Desperate for help, her hope is restored by the prayer of a stranger and hearing the voice of God.

An Order to Prophecy

Knowing God is a God of order, Pierce prays for and receives immediate confirmation regarding a prophetic word. He shares it with the entire church. I am not what I would consider [...]

Break Through

Addicted to drugs for over 23 years, God uses what should have been a fatal car accident to break through the noise in Todd's life and draw him near. "I don't really have an [...]

Facing Mental Affliction

Years of mental affliction was destroying Anthony and his family. He encounters Jesus through love and inner healing and is instantly healed.

Reconciling Race

A purposeful engagement and wedding become the catalyst to reconciling race through the union of marriage and the grace of God. My definition of racism is like a hatred of the [...]

Precious Pain

Paralyzed by the pain of arthritis, forced to rest and unable to care for her family Sayo hears clearly from the Lord. Her illness becomes precious. I sensed God telling me, "You [...]

A Step of Faith is a Step of Faith

A single step of faith begins a journey that takes Danny and his family from India to the United States. Trusting God, even when everything seemed bleak.

Provision for the Journey

They sold everything and set out on a journey, not sure where the Lord would lead them. They've learned to trust Him every step of the way. To get rid of excess, and get rid of [...]

Whoa, God is Here!

John begins each day with expectancy of what the Holy Spirit will do. Lead by the Spirit, he gets to share in some incredible supernatural experiences with God and His children.

A Really Big Yes

A few high school students say yes to God, and a culture shift happens at the school. Students are changed, revival breaks out and the Kingdom advances.

Unbelievable Expectations

Does that mean that I was saved? I lived like hell for 45 years after that. So does that mean that I was saved? I don't know. I got to the point where I was I was drinking, you [...]

Daily Desperate Dependence

When life's challenges become too great, Joe discovers the only thing that will get him through is a daily desperate dependence on the Lord. I began connecting with the Holy [...]

Freedom Behind Bars 2/2

After 34 years of serving the Lord behind bars, Gene is released. Looking back he shares some of the supernatural God moments in his life. He said, "Seriously, the Holy Spirit told [...]

Freedom Behind Bars 1/2

Sentenced to life in prison for a crime he didn't commit, Gene finds Jesus and true freedom behind bars as his pleas for mercy are denied by the courts. "Unshackle him, release him [...]

Resource Room of Heaven

Financial plans crumble, car totalled, Clint feels he is being punished by God. He has an encounter with Jesus and learns about the resource room of heaven.

Courageously Weird

Stepping out on a limb for God but not wanting to be seen as weird, Molly pushes through her own fears to be courageous in the Lord. These are the stories--- these are the ones [...]

Father to the Fatherless

There was this void in my life, right? This void of love, this void of acceptance, void of attention, void of affirmation, and I tried my hardest to find those things. I believe [...]

Dance with Me

And so I just leaned my head forward. And for a moment, I felt like there was a chest that I was really putting my head on, and I just danced with Jesus and cried and experienced [...]

An Answer to Anxiety

I did not want the Lord. All I was wanting was to get this anxiousness out of me. This was bad this was really bad anxiety. I was asking the Lord to help me. He came in and He gave [...]

A Vision Revealed. A Waitress Consoled.

He loves all of us like that! I thought about it I bet she's been crying out for years thinking her prayers aren't getting any higher than the ceiling because nothing's changing. [...]

Power of Prayer in the Storm of Addiction

Just over and over again, when I would get in a bad place, [I would say] “God who is my daughter? Who is my daughter?” And I would declare it; “She's a princess warrior. She is [...]

Inmates Pray. Cancer Healed.

The doctor walks in and he says, “Mr. Edson, I don't know how to explain this, but there is no cancer in this biopsy.” Immediately, I showed them a band that I wear around my wrist [...]

Dreams. A Glimpse of the Father’s Love.

I realized all those things that I dreamt about, that those were gifts that He gave me. Gifts. Just like a glimpse of His power for me and His love for me. That He loved me so much [...]

Two Words from a Stranger…

Jeremy prays for an opportunity to share God's love. He receives a word of knowledge for a stranger. Those two specific words change both men forever.

The Height of Grace in the depths…

Abortion leaves many in the depths of despair, it is only through the heigths of the Father's love and grace that Brooke is able to forgive herself.

But I Am Innocent | The Unseen StoryMade Perfect

Send this to a friend

Hi, this story is AMAZING! Please take a moment to listen: A Mother's Wound!
link: https://theunseenstory.org/stories-posts/a-mothers-wound/