An Impossible Conception
(Please listen to Estreitta’s story by clicking the white play button at the top of this post. You can read the transcript of the story below.)
Having that reality of just believing God and not being fearful is the most key thing, because fear will kill you. When you’re grappled by fear, because of tradition, because of things that you were brought up to believe, or even things that maybe as a kid you believed, and then it didn’t happen the way you thought it would be, it’s hard. It’s hard. And then when you’re challenged with it, and just imagine Job. The Bible says that he was a man that knew God and loved God, and yet he lost everything. And yet, even in the midst of his friends and his family are saying, “Why don’t you just give up and say, there is no God?” And I always think about that situation and circumstances. Even with friends, [they] will be like, you know, even some family members who said, “Oh, okay, well, if that’s what you want to believe.” But I always tell them, I have seen God move in ways in my life that I can’t explain. I have seen God heal people in front of me. I’ve heard stories of amazing people from all over the world that like, why would the devil do that? Because back in the 80s, they used to say, that wasn’t God. I’m like, Okay, if it’s not God, then who else is it? You know? Why would [Satan] heal somebody to say, God is good, there is a God, I believe in God, God is faithful, God is true. The enemy does not want us to give glory to God, He wants us to be focused on ourself, be focused on our mess, be focused on our marriage issues on our kids’ issues. He wants us so focused inwardly, that we forget who God is. And the thing that I’ve learned in my walk with God is back it up in Scripture, and God will never do anything that’s outside of His Word, never. You may not be able to explain it. But you’ve got a book full of stories of people that lived and walked this earth, that have experienced the power of God in unexplainable ways. Fire burning in the middle of the night to bring them across the desert, and a cloud by day, I mean, who can explain those things? We can’t, but God is God, and He’s gonna do what He’s going to do. And He’s going to get glory in it the whole way.
We really didn’t share publicly about my uterine cancer diagnosis until about June of 2018. We had a our inner circle of friends that all knew, but like widespread, we hadn’t shared that. And we went and got another biopsy, and the biopsy came back clean. And this was a declaration that the doctor said to me. He said, “Now, you guys need to go and get pregnant. Because getting pregnant is the best way to heal this form of cancer.” We went to two doctors who were like, “No, you shouldn’t get pregnant, you need to have a hysterectomy.” And then here’s this other doctor that’s like, “go get pregnant, that’s the best way to heal your womb.” And we’re like, okay, so again, we had all these signs, and these things we felt were like confirmations of us to pursue this fertility thing. We did our first fertility treatment in March of 2018, which resulted in one embryo. And then we did it again in July, and it resulted in no eggs. Devastating. I remember sitting in my couch, bawling my eyes out going, “God, why? Why are we going through this? Why do we have to go through this emotional journey?” Not to mention all the hormones you’re having to put into your body, which makes you like a raging lunatic. So in November, we tried one more time, again, resulted in no eggs or embryos, like completely. We went in, they give you all the hormones to get everything all puffy and ready to take out. When she went in there, it was empty. There was nothing there. And she even told my husband, “I think she might be in early menopause.” So when I woke up the next day, my husband shared what the doctor said. And it was very, very, very devastating. Like, okay, God, why did we have to go through all of this? It’s November, it’s been a whole year, it’s almost a year to the date of when we found this out. Like, what is going on? Like, why did I have to go through all of that? And then I just said, “okay, Eric, I guess we’re…our lot in life is we’re going to be those people that don’t have kids biologically, and maybe we need to focus our efforts on adopting.” But then one of my doctors said, you may not be able to adopt because of your previous cancer diagnosis. Like, that’s always a concern for the adoption agencies. Like, are you going to be around for these kids? You know, that kind of [thing], which is understandable? Because having those diagnosis are…So then it’s like, Okay, are we going to even be able to do that?
You’re supposed to wait, because of all the fertility drugs, you’re supposed to wait like, three weeks before you’re having your one-on-one time with your husband. And I think it was about two and a half weeks, and I was like, “Eric, in 17 years, we have not gotten pregnant. Like, really. Like, it’s gonna be, if this were to happen, it would be literally a miracle.” He’s like, “Okay.” And then I started feeling very nauseous and one of my friend’s daughters thought she might be pregnant. Then we started kind of joking around. My best friend, her daughter thought she was pregnant and she’s like, wouldn’t that be crazy if you were pregnant at the same time, or whatever? And I’d be like, well, maybe, you know. At that point, when those jokes kind of happen, you’re like, Yeah, okay. You know, if it happens, it happens. But at this point, after everything we’ve been through, I’ve given up. Like, boom, not gonna happen. So when that happened with her, I said, “Okay, oh, my gosh, I haven’t had my period since December. Eric, maybe you should go get a pregnancy test.” Now, we always got those cheap dollar store ones, because the ones at Walmart are, like $18 for it. And you know, when you’re 17 years of taking [tests] 12 times a year, that adds up. You almost can probably buy a new car with that. So, I told him this time, I said, “Eric, can you go and get one of those tests, that say pregnant, not pregnant?” I’m like, I don’t want us to be like, “Is there a line? Is there not a line? I want there to be no question whatsoever.” So I woke up at four o’clock in the morning to go to the bathroom, and he’s half asleep. I’m like, “Okay, I’m taking the test.” You know, I’m sitting there expecting, “Not pregnant,” because that’s what I’ve seen for the last 17 years. And I’m sitting there and it’s flashing, flashing, flashing, flashing, flashing. And then it says, “Pregnant!” And I’m sitting there swinging it around, like, is this going to change or not? I said, “Eric, in 17 years, we have never seen a “Pregnant” test. Ever!”
This level of faith has just risen up in him to believe God now for the impossible, because this was impossible. By man’s standards…me being in this position right now was an impossible situation.
So I called my primary care provider and said, “Hey, I think I might be pregnant, can you guys do a blood test or whatever to find out.” And it was really cool, because the last fertility treatment, that doctor I know, is a Christian, and she prayed for me. And it was just really beautiful. And so we come in, and she’s like, “What’s going on?” I said, “Doctor, you know, you prayed for me last time I was here.” Then I pulled out and I showed her the test. And she’s like, “Those are 99.9% accurate. But we’ll do a blood test, because we need to confirm and also kind of give us a baseline of how pregnant you are.” And the next day they called…”You are indeed pregnant, you’re six weeks pregnant.”
I was like, “God!” Just so surreal, walking around in this shock, just shock. And it’s almost like this whole thing too, because you really shouldn’t tell people for a certain period of time. But then you want to like, go to the rooftops and scream and tell everybody. So I told my very best friends first. And then my group of friends that I have this group on Facebook, of like 20 girlfriends that have been praying with us over this whole journey. And we had our OB appointment two weeks later. We did a sonogram and we heard the baby’s heartbeat for the first time. We shared publicly with our friends, and Facebook and social media and the world about a month ago. The women’s pastor at our church, they’ve had eight miscarriages. I called her and told her on February 7, that we were pregnant. She got pregnant two weeks later. I didn’t find this out until about three weeks ago, and she shared it at our women’s conference. Nobody knew, maybe three people out of the whole community knew that she was pregnant. And it was really amazing, because she got up on stage and she said, “When one breaks through, we all break through.”
And I was like, oh my gosh. Then I went and looked at our texts. And I was like, “I told you on the seventh and you got pregnant two weeks later.” And now all these other people have just come up to us and have said, “we’ve heard about your testimony” and “I’ve shared your testimony,” [or] “I’ve shared your testimony and women all over the place are getting blessed by your story and your journey.” And [others saying] “believing that even in the midst of all of these crazy wild things that try to tell you that it’s not going to happen, your story is telling them that God is faithful and just continue to trust Him.” Just believing for something for so long, 17 years.
I hope and pray that people don’t have to go through that journey. But, to know that if you have a word from God, to stand on it, to stand on His faithfulness, even when your family, your friends, your closest allies are telling you to give up. Don’t give up, continue to trust Him. Even when doctors are telling you to give up to walk away, to not believe for it. You know what God has said, and so you just stand on that and continue to just trust in Him. Surround yourself with people that are going to support you and lift you up. There have been people in my life that when I’m bawling on their couch, have just prayed for me and loved me and encouraged me and even when my husband wanted to give up. This level of faith has just risen up in him to believe God now for the impossible, because this was impossible. Like literally, by man’s standards. This …me being in this position right now was an impossible situation. And in his mind practically, analytically, scientifically speaking, it was impossible. Now it has just built his faith. Now, being able to believe God for situations and finances and all of these different things, to see my husband in that has just been such a beautiful thing to be able to see. And it’s amazing too, the other people that I don’t even know that are getting blessed by our story. You know?